Dust To Dust
Pairing: Ezra Standish and Nathan Jackson
Summary: After a flu epidemic, it's Ezra's turn to take care of Nathan.
Date written: 8 September 2001
Back to: Dust To Dust Part 3
Nathan was still making the rounds of the sick when I went to the clinic. He'd been run off his feet by the influenza outbreak that struck Four Corners ten days earlier. Luckily, none of the Seven had succumbed and all did their best to help him in any way they could. But most of the work still fell on his broad shoulders. Letting myself in with the key he'd given me three months before, I checked first for messages and sighed with relief when I didn't find any.
It had been two days without someone new getting sick and I prayed that we were over the worst of it. Elderly Mr. Gray had been one of the first to fall ill and when he died three days later Nathan had gotten very quiet. I didn't know what to say to him or how to help him so I went to Josiah for advice. He told me to just be there for him. Hold him and tell him I loved him.
So I had. He'd been so tense in my arms at first then he'd begun to hold me, too. And the words had spilled out of him. All the things he wasn't and all the knowledge he lacked to be a 'real' healer. I let him rant and rave until his words ran out. Then I told him all the things he was - warm, caring, compassionate, a man who healed with his very touch.
He'd cried then letting the tears wash away the pain and falling asleep in my arms. I held him all night long and thought about his great heart. I loved him more every day we were together and more than anything, I wished that we could be together all the time. Instead of sneaking in and out of each other's room, I wanted to be there every morning to watch him come awake. I wanted to fall asleep held close in those strong arms that promised safety to me.
And love, he promised and gave me his love whenever he could, although we hadn't made love since people started getting sick. I cleaned up the outer room of the small clinic before heading into the private room that belonged to my lover. The bed was still mussed from his restless sleep and I stripped it bare before putting on the clean sheets that I'd picked up from the laundry. I'd already filled the tin tub half full of water and I made sure that the stoves in both rooms were well stoked with coal.
September had turned cool and rainy, contributing to the sickness that affected fully half of the town residents. I checked the three-gallon pots that I'd filled with water and found each of them beginning to steam. The bathhouse was closed because of the sickness and I wanted to give him the gift of a hot bath and clean sheets so he could sleep in peace. I pondered what else I could give him that would make him feel better and daringly, I removed my jacket and hung it on the hook by the door. Lighting the lamp, I placed it in the side window so he would know I was here.
Checking the stew on the back burner of the front room stove, I hurriedly set the table with the pretty white porcelain plates with the hand-painted violets that I'd found the month before in the back of Gloria Potter's store. There were only three since one had broken in shipment so she let me have them cheaply along with the two cups and saucers that went with them.
Inez had baked that afternoon so I had a basket of hot rolls for him wrapped in towels under the stove so they'd stay warm. It was a simple meal but one that I knew he'd like. My boots were already off and sitting by the door so I wouldn't track mud on his floor. Mr. Larabee had promised to send Nathan home when he checked in at the jail the way he always did about this time.
Heading back into the bedroom, I made sure that the soap was near the tub and the towels were warming on the iron bar that fit on the side of the pot-bellied stove. I wanted everything perfect for him. The inner room was warming up and I took off my vest and folded it neatly on top of the dresser. Part of the bottom drawer had some of my clothes in it and I thought about that with a smile.
I liked the feeling of belonging that he gave me with every look and touch. And I loved the way he touched me. Sometimes his hands were so gentle that I ached for more. The first few times he came inside of me had hurt but it was a good pain that just reminded me of who was loving me. I'd not seen many men unclothed except for once in a while in the bathhouse and Nathan's organ was bigger than any other I'd ever seen.
I loved touching the chocolate brown shaft and feeling it come to life in my pale hands. When he was fully hard, I could barely stretch my fingers around his girth. I had to really stretch to take more than just the flared helmet of his cock into my mouth but he loved it when I did that. I liked to get him all wet and slick with my tongue then slide him inside of me until his balls were flush to my nether cheeks.
That was when I felt the most loved by the remarkable man who held my heart in his warm hands. He possessed me heart and soul but I didn't worry that he'd ever hurt me. That wasn't possible for the gentle healer and I smiled at the thought of welcoming him home into my body after making sure that he was fed and clean.
The outer door opened and I prayed to Josiah's God that it wasn't a patient. Hurrying out I found Nathan taking off his coat and hanging it up, all the while looking around the warm room. "Ezra, what's all this?"
"You're cold, tired and hungry. It's time for me to take care of you." I crossed to him and knelt to take off his boots. He leaned against the door and let me, which told me just how tired he was. Then I took his hand and led him to the table. "Sit down and let me serve you dinner."
He slid his arms around me and buried his face in the hollow of my shoulder and neck. "God, Ezra, I'm so tired I could go to sleep standing up."
Turning towards him, I cradled him in my arms. "I know, Nathan, I know. Just let me take care of you and pretty soon I'll tuck you into bed so you can sleep."
He tried to smile at me but it was an effort, I could tell. "Something smells good."
I sat him down and served him the steaming hot stew. Rescuing the rolls from under the stove, I unwrapped them and buttered one for him. He was waiting for his second bite of stew to cool so I was able to hold the roll to his lips and have him nip it from my fingers. He looked brighter with every bite and soon he was coaxing me to eat, too. I pulled the other chair close to him and we took turns feeding each other until the stew and rolls were gone.
"Sweet Ezra, you take good care of me." He kissed me gently and I sucked his tasty tongue into my mouth to entwine with mine.
But I could see he was barely keeping his eyes open so I pulled him to his feet and led him into his bedroom. The lamp on the dresser was turned low but when he saw the tub he groaned. "Ezra, you're an angel of heaven."
I chuckled and poured the first big kettle into the tub while he started unbuttoning his shirt with fumbling fingers. I hurried back to the other room and the other kettle, remembering to turn off the lamp in the outer room and lock the door. He was down to his pants when I came back in. Pouring the steaming water in, I tested it and found it just right.
By the time I'd refilled both kettles, he was settling in the tub with a groan of relief. I got the soap before he could and began to wash those broad shoulders with soapy hands. I massaged him too and felt him relax all over. Once his back was washed, he settled against the high tin back and let me wash his chest. His eyes were closed while I scrubbed him from top to bottom. His cock didn't even twitch when I soaped his groin.
Poor Nathan was so tired that I think he might have even dozed off while I was washing him. I kissed him gently and felt him start awake. "Come up, Nathan and I'll dry you off and tuck you in."
"I think you're going to have to help me up, Ezra. I feel like all my muscles have turned to mush." He blinked at me sleepily and I fell in love all over again.
"Coming up, Nathan." I'm stronger than I look and I soon had him standing up so I could towel him dry. When he stepped out of the tub, I knelt and dried those long, strong legs of his while his lax cock nestled in the dark hair at his groin. I kissed it tenderly while I stood up and hugged him close.
"Stay, Ezra. Sleep with me tonight." His eyes were at half-mast and I had to hold him up while urging him to the bed. The covers were turned back and I tucked him in with a soft kiss to his lips. "Stay?"
"I'll be here when you wake up, Nathan. I promise." I stroked his hair and he fell asleep with a smile on his face. I watched him for a long moment before getting up to take my own bath. I washed all over and then emptied the tub one kettle at a time until I could pick it up and drain it in the sink in the other room. I tidied everything away before coming back into the bedroom.
Watching him sleep, I thought about what I wanted us to do when he was rested. We'd discovered that the liniment that he made up for Josiah worked well for making our passages slick enough for penetration. We kept a bottle by both our beds so no matter where we were, we never lacked for lubricant. I uncorked the new bottle that I'm made up while I was waiting for him. Stretching one leg to the top of the three-foot tall dresser, I began to smooth the lotion inside of me.
That always made me feel quite wanton and I stretched a little more to spread the thick lotion deeper. Hurting me was not an option for my tender lover and I wanted him inside of me more than I'd ever wanted anything. Once I felt pleasantly slick, I set the bottle on the table near my side of the bed in case we needed it. Then I slipped under the covers next to him.
He turned to me in his sleep pulling me close and I smiled at his unconscious possession. If I was very lucky, Nathan would keep me by his side forever. I slid my arms around him and closed my tired eyes. Sending up another prayer to Josiah's God, I asked for an entire night with no emergencies so he could sleep himself out.
We slept almost eight hours straight and I slipped from his arms at dawn to go and check for messages under the front door. Josiah had patrol and he'd promised that he'd let us know if anyone needed Nathan. But the floor was empty and I breathed a sigh of relief. I put the teakettle on and peeled some oranges for our breakfast. I'd never known Nathan to sleep much past six thirty so he'd probably be awake shortly and I wanted to be ready.
I warmed the teapot and put in my favorite tea to steep. Some of the rolls were left over and I spread them with butter and added some honey for sweetness. Carrying the tray back into the bedroom, I found that Nathan had moved to my side of the bed probably in search of my warmth. Smiling, I set the tray down on the side table and slipped back under the covers.
He was twitching a little and I slid my hand down to see if he'd awoken with his usual morning erection. He had and I grinned to myself while I burrowed under the blankets to his groin for my favorite breakfast. He tasted of brine but that didn't matter to me. It was royal ambrosia to my tongue and I wrapped my mouth around as much of him as I could. He twitched again and I knew he'd be waking up soon. I wanted to pleasure him first since he was usually the one who woke up first on those rare occasions that we spent the whole night together.
"Ezra." The sleepy murmur of my name made me suck a little harder and I heard him groan. "Sweet Ezra, I missed you so much."
I had a mouthful but I echoed his sentiment with a hum that had his hips lifting. But I was lying on his legs so he couldn't move too far. His hands came down and carded through my hair while I relaxed my throat and got a little more of him inside of me. He was too long and thick for me to take all of him in like he did for me but he'd told me how much he liked it when I tasted him so I kept trying.
"Ezra, I need you." His voice had a pout in it if I'd ever heard one and I chuckled around him while I tested to see if he was hard enough to come inside of me.
So, I let him slowly fall from my lips while obeying the tug of his hands up. His lips took mine with fervor and I straddled his hips with anticipation, my hands still holding onto the cock that I wanted so badly. And with only a little wiggle, the broad crown popped through my outer muscle while we both groaned. It felt like the first time all over again and I shook with the unexpected pain of his entry.
But I wanted him with all my heart so I persevered and he soon slid deep inside of me.
"Ezra, are you all right? You feel so tight." Worried brown eyes met mine and I smiled down at him.
"It feels like the first time again. I like the way you stretch me wide with your beautiful cock. I never would have thought that I could ever take something so big inside of me." I wiggled a little and felt the pulse in his cock vibrate through my channel walls. "When you're inside of me, I feel like I'm a part of you, like your hand or your leg."
"Sweet Ezra, you carry my heart inside of you." He touched my face gently and I turned just enough to lay a kiss in his hardworking palm. "Sometimes I think you carry my soul as well."
"Do you... regret that?" The sudden fear came out of nowhere.
"No! Never regret loving you. Not ever." He pulled me closer and scattered kisses over my face. "Never, ever regret this."
I finally smiled again, the fear subsiding back into the bottom of my mind where the nightmares still lived. "I love you, Nathan and I'll never stop. I wish we could be together all the time."
And I gasped at my inadvertent speaking aloud of my dearest wish. But he was smiling at me with that bright smile I loved. "That's exactly what I was thinking, Ezra. The storeroom just beyond this room could stand a good cleaning out. If we built some more shelves and put everything in this room, we could move back there for more privacy while keeping a narrow bed in this room for 'your' supposed bed. The way we've been working together has already prepared the townspeople for you moving in."
"Do you really think it would be all right?" I wanted to believe him. "I want to be with you always."
He thrust up just a little and I gasped at the heat. "I want you for always, too. Some days I just want to lock the door and tell the rest of the world to go away while I love you."
I began to rock on the hard cock that filled me so well using my thigh muscles to raise and lower myself on the hot flesh that impaled me. He was murmuring my name with every thrust and I could feel sweat break out on my back every time he slid over my gland. I was burning everywhere and only panting brought in enough air to keep me conscious.
His hands held my hips and our rhythm almost broke when he pulled down and thrust up at the same time I boiled over and spurted my seed over his stomach and chest. My contractions almost made him come too but he stilled with what had to be superhuman effort. My hands on his chest were all that held me upright and when the pulsing calmed a little, I smoothed my fingers over the dark brown nipples that peaked for me so nicely.
"Ezra, I'll make you sore." He tried to pull me off of him but I clamped my knees to his hips and refused to move. "Ezra?"
"It's been a week, Nathan. I need you inside of me for a long time to make up for all the times I had to do without you. You can't come out of me until I've gotten hard again." I told him sternly, with the grin he calls sassy.
"Really?" His eyes sparkled again after much too long. "I guess that I'll just have to get you hard again then. I wonder how I could do that?"
I squeezed my inner muscles around him, the way he'd taught me. Those exercises had been fun to learn since we practiced with his fingers first and then with his cock. He groaned and then rolled us over so he was on top of me but still imbedded in my ass. He kissed me again as if we hadn't kissed in days and I felt him pulse inside me like a second heartbeat.
He grabbed one of the pillows and slid it under my hips so my back was protected. Then he began the gentle rocking that filled me with warmth while kissing me everywhere he could reach. I went back to pinching his nipples and rolling them with my fingers until they were hard and aching. That always made him lose control a little and soon he was thrusting in with all his strength while my cock hardened between our stomachs.
"Nathan!" His thrusts felt deeper than they'd ever been before and I writhed on the sheets while he possessed me completely. I began to squirt between us at almost the same moment that he flooded my bowels with his heat. For a moment, I wondered what it would be like to be a woman and have his seed deep inside of me.
What would it be like to combine his seed and mine to make a child, a child with his beauty and strength? How would it feel to carry our child inside of me for long months until he or she was born? Having seen the aftermath of a miscarriage and the long pain of a labor that came too soon, I was glad that I couldn't. Although a small part of my heart ached to know that joy that attended a healthy birth.
"Sweet Ezra, you love me so good." He was still scattering kisses over my face and I opened my mouth to draw him in there too.
I sucked on his tongue and took that rich taste inside of me with relish. Maybe some day, I'd tell him of my fantasy. He was softening a little and I knew that all too soon he'd slip from my body and leave me empty again. Until the next time I enticed him back. He rolled us again so I was on top of him and he slid gently from me. I whimpered and his hands immediately turned me while he sat up in make sure he hadn't hurt me. Stretched across his lap, I felt his callused fingers part my cheeks and check for blood in the trickles that leaked from me.
"You scared me, sweet cheeks." He smoothed his hands over my ass and I wiggled while throwing him a saucy look over my shoulder. "I think you're going to have to stay right here while I feed you this delicious breakfast that you made for us. Where did the oranges come from?"
"Mrs. Potter got them in and gave me some to bring to you. She swears by them and says they're why she didn't get sick." I accepted an orange slice from his fingers making sure that I nipped the salty digits before letting them go.
"Well, she may be right. I've heard that sailors get sick if they don't have citrus fruit on their long ocean voyages. And she must have nursed half a dozen people since this epidemic began. Chris said that the same influenza hit Downers Peak and they have almost a dozen dead already." He shivered and I sat up so I could hold him close.
"You're a better doctor than that quack with his license will ever be. I think it's because you make sure everything is kept clean. No disease stands a chance when you help your patients." I declared with a glare in case he thought fit to argue but he was too busy squeezing me close and kissing me hard.
Eventually we had to breathe and he stroked my cheek gently. "We were lucky this time." He laid a finger over my lips to stop my protest and I promptly sucked it into my mouth. He blinked and seemed to lose his train of thought for a moment but then he continued. "But cleanliness does seem to be a factor whether it's flu or babies or any of the other things that people need a doctor for. I wish there were something I could read about that. Surely some one else has noticed the effect of washing on the severity of a disorder?"
"If there is then we'll find it." I declared and fed him another orange slice. I loved seeing him think out a problem. If he'd been born white, he'd be the best doctor to have ever graduated from medical school. I mourned the profession's loss but rejoiced that he'd come west instead so he could love me.
I poured a cup of tea and he drank from one side then held it to my lips for me to drink. We finished the oranges, the tea and even the rolls while he thought hard and I stroked his cock back to life.
"Ezra, is there something you want?" He came back to me in a rush while I held onto his cock with both hands, smearing a tear of seed over the velvet soft crown.
"You, I always want you and you want me too." I leaned in and kissed him slowly, slipping my tongue between his lips to tickle the roof of his mouth. That always made him laugh and I wanted him to have fun this morning.
"You're so right, Ezra, I always want you, but you'll be too sore if I come back inside you now." He shivered under my strokes and I pushed him back onto the bed, holding him there.
"No I won't, Nathan. I've been missing you so much that you'll just have to satisfy me all over again. I'm a very demanding lover and only you meet my very high standards. I need your strength and gentleness deep inside of me." I reached back and guided him to my small hole, wiggling him through the sore muscle with a sigh of relief when he was inside.
"There's nothing like your heat, Ezra." His eyes were half-closed and his smile told me that I was the only person in his world right now.
"And there's nothing like your warm... column of... pulsing flesh impaling me. No one knows how big you are and how sweetly you fill me to the brim." I rocked a little and felt that pulse. "I feel very smug sometimes when I remember that I'm the only one you want, too. All of your strength and beauty are mine when ever I can get you alone."
His hips were moving again and I rode him more confidently than ever before. "You are the only one I want, Ezra. I see you and I feel incredibly lucky that I'm the only one who gets to taste your sweetness. Part of me wants to shout 'I love you, Ezra P. Standish' to the whole world. But most of me just wants to keep you close to me and never let you go."
"Yes." I smiled at him and leaned down to kiss him. His hands stroked over my ass cheeks while he thrust up gently again and again. We'd come so often that this would be a long, slow almost lazy bout of lovemaking.
We made it last a long time before he thrust up and made me come following me a moment later into release. He rolled us to our sides and we rested until he came out naturally. This time he made me stay flat while he got hot water to clean us up. The front door still had no messages under it and we napped together for another hour before getting up to finish the stew. We ate naked at the small table while I sat on Nathan's lap.
Debating another bath, we both heard the scratch at the door and the dreaded note slipped under it. I sighed and got up to get it for him but both our names were on it. He pulled me down onto his lap and read over my shoulder.
Nathan and Ezra,
Everything is fine and everybody is feeling better.
Take the rest of the day off but meet us for dinner
at the saloon about six o'clock. Inez says she's
cooking chicken and we've got a bottle of whiskey
with your names on it.
Josiah, JD, Buck, Chris and Vin
We smiled at each other and Nathan picked me up, carrying me back to our bedroom. Another nap and maybe another session of lovemaking and we'd be ready to meet our friends for dinner. I wound my arms around his neck and listened to his laughter. I was the luckiest man in the world and soon I'd be in our bed forever and not just once in awhile.
We straightened the sheets from the mess we'd made earlier then slid under the covers and into each other's arms. I sighed his name and felt his lips at my temple, murmuring mine. I'd never felt so loved and I nestled closer to the furnace that was my lover with a happy yawn.
Our friends would just have to wait. We were busy loving each other.
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