Second Childhood
(Old West)

by Jean Williams

Sadly Jean is no longer with us, but we're sure her daughter, Jenn, would love to hear from you if you enjoy this story

Disclaimer: Ah, if only they were mine, but, alas, they're not. Unfortunately, the privilege of ownership of "The Magnificent Seven" characters belongs to the Mirisch Corp., Trilogy, and MGM, and no infringement on the copyrights held by them is intended. I merely wish to dust the boys off and bring them out to play occasionally for the entertainment of those of us who still miss them dearly.
Warnings: Some strong language, a small amount of violence and a large dose of smarm. An open mind and a good imagination are needed in order to fully enjoy this story.
Author's Note: If you'd like an idea of how Lit'l Ezra sounds, I suggest you watch the Adam Sandler movie, "Big Daddy." Just imagine the little boy in the movie with a Southern accent,and you'll know exactly how Ezra sounded in the dream that inspired me to write this story.
Completed: February 20, 2000

PART ONE

Chris strode angrily into the crowded saloon and looked around for the person responsible for getting his day off to such a bad start. He spotted five of his men seated at a table near the bar enjoying their breakfast, but the one he was after was nowhere in sight.

"Where is he?" Chris growled as he stalked over to their table and threw himself into the only empty chair.

The others immediately stopped eating and stared at him, puzzled by his obvious anger.

"Are we to assume your apparent displeasure is directed at Brother Standish since the rest of us are here in front of you?" Josiah inquired, smiling slightly at the exasperated look he received from the black-clad gunslinger.

Chris glared at him a moment before replying. "You know... you're starting to sound just like our dear *Brother Standish* as you put it. And hell yeah he's the one I'm wantin'! He was supposed to be out on patrol an hour ago and his horse is still in the stable! I take it he hasn't even been down yet?"

"Haven't seen hide nor hair of 'im... he's probably still sound asleep. He was still playin' cards with some of those ranch hands that were in here last night when I left. God only knows what time he finally crawled off to bed." Buck picked up the biscuit that was left on his plate and began tearing off pieces and tossing them across the table at JD.

"Buck! Will you quit doin' that?! You never let me finish a whole meal... and I'm a growin' boy... I need all I can get!" JD scooped up a forkful of eggs, flung it at Buck, and moved quickly away from the table before the ladies man could get back at him.

Chris scowled at their antics, pointed a finger at both of them, and then motioned toward the stairs leading to the rooms up over the saloon. "Fine... since you two've got so much energy, why don't you go and drag Ezra's sorry ass out of bed. Tell him I want him down here in ten minutes, or he'll be riding patrol every day for the next damn month!"

Buck and JD froze in place and stared incredulously at their leader. "You're kiddin', right? You know how dangerous it is to wake him up... last time he almost got Josiah with that damn pop gun of his!"

"Well, then I guess you better do it real careful like, huh?" Chris just grinned slightly and pointed again in the direction of Ezra's room.

JD opened his mouth to argue further, but Buck just grabbed his arm and began dragging him toward the stairs. "Forget it, boy... I know that look and there just ain't no arguin' with it."

The youngster glanced at Chris once more, realized Buck was right, and allowed himself to be pulled along behind him. "Okay, Buck... but you're goin' in first. I'm too young to die."

The older man gave him a shove up the stairs and shook his head. "No way, Kid... you make a smaller target... you're goin' in and distractin' 'im while I see if I can't get my hands on that gun before he can shoot you."

The others laughed as they watched their two friends wrestle and argue their way up to the gambler's room.

"Maybe I oughta go grab my medical bag... I've gotta feelin' one a them is gonna need my services before they get Ezra outta that bed." Nathan laughed as he finished his coffee and headed back over to the clinic. He had several patients he needed to look in on anyway and wanted to get out of range before the Southerner came down those stairs and met with Chris's anger. It was never a pretty sight when those two butted heads, and he'd just as soon not have to witness it this early in the morning.

Stepping out onto the boardwalk, Nathan marveled at how warm it still was even though it was almost Christmas. He glanced back at the saloon and shook his head as he thought about how tense the next several days would be between Ezra and Chris. Neither of them liked the holiday and the nearer it drew, the touchier they seemed to get.

Chris didn't hate the season, he just preferred to forget it ever since Sarah and Adam had died. It no longer held any joy for him, and he simply left the celebrating to the others. And Ezra... well, from what they'd been able to discern from the little he'd let slip, his childhood had not been an especially happy one and Christmas apparently held no fond memories for him. You'd think their mutual dislike for the holiday would draw them together, but instead they seemed to get a perverse pleasure out of antagonizing one another.

Nathan sighed and moved off the boardwalk and down into the dusty street. <Better check my stock of supplies... one or both of them's bound t' end up in the clinic 'fore Christmas gets here.>

*******

Ezra frowned as he stared at himself in the mirror. The dark circles under his eyes were an unpleasant reminder of the nightmare that had awoken him several times during the night. In fact, he was still suffering from the effects of it... his heart was still beating a bit faster than normal, and his hands were shaking so badly he had nicked himself twice while shaving. Something that absolutely never happened.

It was a recurring dream that seemed to strike whenever he was stressed or over-tired, and try as he might, he could never remember any more than tiny fragments of it. He knew it had something to do with the horrible occurrences while he'd been in the custody of his uncle Matthew... someone he had spent his entire adult life trying to forget... but other than that, there were only vague images and sounds left when he awoke. Nothing solid enough to let him know the exact nature of the dream.

Ezra was just glad that the boisterous revelry from Buck and JD in the saloon below had awakened him when it did. He had an uneasy feeling that if allowed to continue, the nightmare would have gotten worse... much worse. Especially considering the abuse he'd endured at the hands of his uncle. He knew the feelings of anxiety and fear that always accompanied the dream would stay with him for days before finally dissipating, and there was nothing he could do but try to ignore them. Sighing resignedly, he forced his thoughts away from it and went back to his shaving.

*******

Buck and JD listened at Ezra's door, and were relieved to hear him moving around. "Hey, Ezra... ya decent?"

"Go away, Mr. Wilmington." Ignoring Ezra's irritated reply, they swung the door open and walked in.

"You're up." Buck commented as he watched the gambler finish wiping the lather off his face.

Ezra stared at him for a moment before buttoning his shirt and pulling on his waistcoat. "Very observant of you, Mr. Wilmington. And of course I'm up... how could one possibly sleep through that ungodly racket you and our young friend here were making?"

"Well, you just better be glad we woke you cause Chris wants you downstairs in ten minutes or you're ridin' patrol for the next month. Did you forget you were supposed to go out this mornin'?" JD grinned and nudged Buck when he saw it dawn on Ezra just how much trouble he was in.

"Good lord..." he mumbled as he quickly strapped on his guns and grabbed his coat and hat off the back of the chair. He'd completely forgotten it was his turn for patrol.

Brushing past Buck and JD, he hurried out of the room and headed for the stairs, struggling to shove his arms into his coat sleeves as he went.

"Hey, wait up, Ezra!" JD yelled as he and Buck hurried after the gambler. "I want to see you try 'n talk your way outta this one!"

Chris heard JD's yell and looked up just as the trio came rushing around the corner and headed down the stairs. He started to shoot a glare at the Southerner, when suddenly, with a sickening sense of slow motion, he saw Buck start off a terrifying chain of events... and realized he was powerless to stop it.

*******

Buck grabbed at JD's arm and tried to pull him away from the gambler, trying to warn him against getting in the way of the blowup he knew was coming between Ezra and Chris.

"Let go, Buck!" the boy exclaimed as he jerked his arm out of the older man's reach.

Buck saw what was about to happen and desperately tried to recapture JD's arm, but the younger man's momentum had already pushed him back out of the gunslinger's grasping hands and straight into Ezra. The gambler was just moving his foot down to the next step while still struggling with his jacket, when JD slammed into him, knocking him off balance. JD tried to turn and grab for Ezra as he felt the other man fall away from him, and nearly had him... but his hands were just a second too late.

"Ezra!!" Buck and Chris shouted out the gambler's name at the same time, drawing every eye in the saloon to the heart-stopping sight of Ezra tumbling backward over the railing. His arms were still tangled in the twisted coat sleeves and he could do nothing to break his fall. They all watched in frozen horror as he slammed into a table which tilted brokenly, throwing him to the floor in a boneless heap.

Chris, Vin and Josiah hurried to his side. Kneeling by his head, Chris pressed two shaky fingers against the gambler's neck... holding his breath as he searched desperately for a pulse. "Come on, Ezra... damn it, don't you do this to us." Finally, after what seemed like forever, he found it... it was weak, but at least it was there. Vin and Josiah saw him nod and breathed a sigh of relief as they moved to place gentle hands along their friend's body, holding him still in case he woke suddenly and began stirring around. They knew Nathan needed to check him over before he could be allowed to move... they just prayed his back wasn't injured in the fall.

Chris glanced up and saw JD and Buck still standing on the stairs, the shock of what had just happened showing clearly on their faces. "JD! Go find Nathan!" He saw the boy hesitate and sharpened the tone of his voice. "Now, JD!! Move it!!"

Seeing him finally move down the stairs and race out the door, Chris turned his eyes to his oldest friend and nodded once at the crowd that had gathered around them. "Clear everyone outta here, Buck." He saw the fear shining brightly in his eyes and hurried to reassure him. "He's alive, Buck... did you hear me? I said he's alive." When the gunman finally shook himself and began moving down the stairs, Chris turned his attention back to the crumpled body lying motionless beneath his hands.

Three sets of eyes anxiously searched Ezra for signs of how badly he was injured. He had landed on his left side, one arm pinned beneath his body, his legs sprawled out awkwardly behind him. Chris eased his hands gently around the younger man's head and grimaced as his fingers came away red with blood. He wadded up a corner of the tablecloth that Ezra was lying on and pressed it tightly against the wound, trying to stop the flow of blood, his eyes never leaving the gambler's pale face.

After finally getting the last person shoved out of the saloon, Buck hurried over to the others and stared worriedly down at Ezra. "How's he doin', Chris?"

Chris heard the guilt in the other man's voice and glanced up at him. Buck's eyes were riveted on Ezra, and Chris could see him struggling to control his emotions. "It was an accident, Buck... that's all." He tried to reassure the gunman, but could see his words fell on deaf ears. He felt a tremor run through Ezra and tightened his hold on him, glancing quickly down at his face in the hopes that he was coming to. He knew the longer the Southerner was unconscious, the greater the odds were that he'd sustained a serious head injury. "Ezra? Can you hear me? Come on now, open your eyes for me." Nothing. Not even a flicker of his eyelids. "Damn it... where the hell is Nathan?!"

Just at that moment, Nathan and JD came slamming through the door into the saloon. The healer's heart raced as he saw Ezra lying motionless amidst the rubble of the table. "Let me in there, Buck." Buck reluctantly moved away from the gambler and stood watching anxiously as Nathan took his pulse, and then ran his experienced hands slowly down Ezra's back. "He been out the whole time?"

Chris kept his eyes fastened on Nathan's face as he examined the injured man, watching for any sign of trouble. "Yeah... he trembled once or twice, but that's about it."

Nathan frowned and felt carefully around Ezra's neck. "This how he landed?"

Chris nodded. "We haven't moved him... his back?"

"Hard t' tell. I don't feel nothin' broke, but we'll have t' wait til he comes to 'fore we'll know for sure. Helps that he landed partly on his side... might have some bruised or broken ribs, but at least it protected his spine some." Nathan had Chris move his hands so he could check the gash in the back of Ezra's head, grimacing when he saw how deep it was. "Looks like his head hit the edge of the table when he landed... it's pretty nasty. Could be a fracture, but I can't tell for sure." He motioned for Chris to resume the pressure on the cut while he looked at Ezra's eyes... his frown deepened and he shook his head.

"Nathan? How bad?" Chris hated that look... he'd seen it way too many times lately with regards to the Southerner. Ezra seemed to have an uncanny knack for getting injured, and it was always bad enough to put *that look* on the healer's face. Leave it to Ezra not to do anything half-way... even getting hurt.

"Well, he's definitely got a concussion... looks like a bad one." Nathan slid his hands down to Ezra's arms, carefully easing his right arm out of his coat, removing the sleeve rig he wore and checking for breaks. It seemed fine, but when he slipped his hand under Ezra to examine the left one, he could immediately feel the break in his forearm just above the wrist. The healer looked at Vin and Josiah and told them to lift up on him slowly, just enough for him to slide Ezra's arm out rom under him. "Chris, keep his head as steady as ya can. Buck... get down here an' help me untangle his arm from this sleeve as we bring it out. Okay, y'all ready? Easy now... and try an' keep his back straight."

JD watched as they did exactly as Nathan said, smoothly maneuvering Ezra up and off the arm. He felt so damned helpless just standing there. Suddenly it dawned on him what he could be doing, and he quietly turned and slipped out of the saloon

Chris eased up the pressure he was applying to the cut on the back of Ezra's head and leaned over to check it. "Bleeding's stopped, Nathan."

Nathan pulled a pad of cloth and some bandages out of his medical kit and passed them to Chris. "Wrap it up for now, an' I'll clean it out an' stitch it when we get 'im t' the clinic."

"You don't think we oughta just take him up to his room? It's closer," Buck asked as he held Ezra's arm still for the healer.

"He's hurt too bad... I'll be able t' take better care of 'im over there." Nathan had Chris help him remove Ezra's other two guns and their holsters, and then ran his hands gently down the gambler's sides. He was pleasantly surprised to find his ribs only bruised, not broken or cracked, and figured his arm must have taken the brunt of the impact and protected them somewhat. Carefully he eased Ezra's arm over and placed it against his chest, and while Buck held it firmly in place, strapped it down tight until he could get it splinted. Nathan kept watching Ezra's face for some reaction to the pain he knew he should be feeling, and became more and more worried when there was none.

The healer hurriedly finished checking him over, running his hands lightly down his hips and legs and thankfully finding nothing broken. He wanted to get him to the clinic and do a more thorough examination... he just prayed there wasn't anything he'd missed.

"Okay... we gotta keep 'im as level as possible carryin' 'im over there. An' we're goin' real slow... I don't want 'im bounced around none." Nathan looked around and frowned. "Where the heck did JD get off to? I was gonna have 'im bring my medical bag."

"Probably couldn't stand to watch anymore. Don't worry... one of us'll come back over and get it... let's just get him to the clinic," Chris said as he stared down at Ezra. Why the hell had he sent Buck and JD up to get him? If he'd just gone himself, or better yet, let him come down when he was ready, this never would have happened.

Nathan showed everyone where to hold him, and they soon had Ezra cradled between them and began slowly moving out of the saloon and across the street.

*******

As soon as their feet touched the landing outside the clinic, the door swung open and JD stood there ready to help. Moving carefully inside, they found out why he'd disappeared so suddenly. The bed was turned down and waiting for Ezra, a pot of boiling water stood ready on the stove, and everything JD could think of that Nathan might need had been placed on the table next to the bed.

Nathan glanced around the room as they carried Ezra over to the bed, settling him carefully on his right side, and then nodded approvingly at the young man. "Good job, JD... looks like ya thought of everything."

JD's worried expression eased a bit at the compliment. "I had to find something to do to help... after all, it's my fault he's lying here like this."

"It's nobody's fault, JD... it was just an accident, so quit blaming yourself." Chris meant what he said, but he knew the boy and Buck would still feel guilty about what had happened.

Chris and Josiah helped Nathan remove Ezra's clothes while the others stood back against the wall watching. Every man in the room winced when the Southerner's body was revealed and they saw the deep purple bruises that already covered his entire left side and half of his back.

Nathan went over every inch of the smaller man and was glad to find that his initial examination had been right... except for the extensive bruising, the only other injuries he had were the broken arm and the head wound. Not that they weren't bad enough... Ezra was definitely going to be sore when he woke up, and he was going to have one hell of a headache. The healer had also been relieved to see the gambler move his legs slightly as he'd probed the bruises on his ribs... it meant he most likely didn't have a spinal injury, and he was finally reacting to the pain. Hopefully he'd be waking up soon.

Pulling a chair up to the side of the bed, Nathan sat down and prepared to stitch up the gash in the back of Ezra's head. "Y'all want t' get a hold on him case he tries t' move around? This ain't gonna feel too good, and I don't want 'im jerkin' away from me if he comes to."

But absolutely nothing Nathan did to the gambler got another response. Not the jostling involved with wrapping his bruised ribs... not even having his broken arm set and splinted. Other than that slight shifting of his legs during the healer's examination, Ezra had remained silent and unmoving.

Nathan looked up at the others when he finished with Ezra, and they could all see the worry in his gentle brown eyes. "I done all I can for 'im, now we wait."

"He's gonna be okay though... right, Nathan?" JD tore his gaze from Ezra's pale face to look imploringly at the healer... willing him to reassure him that everything would be fine.

"Nathan?" Buck added his guilt-ridden voice to JD's when he didn't answer right away. His eyes searched Nathan's face for some sign of hope.

Nathan just shrugged and turned back to Ezra. He had no answers for them. The blow to the head had been severe, and there was no way of telling how much damage had been done until the gambler woke up. For now, all any of them could do was wait and pray.

Chris walked up beside the bed and placed his hand on Nathan's shoulder. "We know you're doin' everything you can, Nathan. We'll set up the usual shifts to watch over him... you -"

"Y'can forget the shifts, Chris... I ain't leavin' 'im." Buck pulled a chair up beside the bed, and ignoring everyone else in the room, turned his full attention to Ezra. The others watched as he tucked the blanket around the smaller man, careful not to jar his injured arm which was cradled on a pillow in front of him. He then leaned on the edge of the bed, one hand wrapped around the gambler's while his other smoothed the hair back off his pale brow. "Don't you give up on us, Ezra... ya gotta fight this. Tell ya what, pard... you open those green eyes of yours for me, and I'll take that month of patrol Chris was gonna make ya ride. How's that sound? JD and me'll even quit pesterin' ya about joinin' us for the Christmas celebration."

Chris opened his mouth to argue with Buck, but Josiah stopped him. "Leave him, Chris. He needs to do this, and who knows... it might be the one thing to drag Ezra back. If nothing else, he'll probably at least wake up long enough to tell Buck to shut up."

Buck and JD had become especially close to Ezra over the last few months. And to the surprise of the others , the two men had slowly begun to pull the gambler out from behind the walls he kept carefully erected around himself. They all knew that both of them were probably feeling a tremendous amount of guilt over what had happened, even though it had just been a tragic accident and no one's fault.

Chris stared at Buck and then at the preacher, and smiled. "You could be right... nothing Ezra hates more than havin' to listen to Buck ramble on." Chris squeezed Nathan's shoulder reassuringly before letting go. "You need anything before we leave, Nathan?"

Nathan thought a minute before answering. "Someone could fetch one of Ezra's nightshirts from his room... he'll want somethin' t' put on once he wakes up."

"JD... you want to take care of that? And grab some dinner for Nathan and Buck on your way through the saloon." Chris saw the boy's reluctance to leave, but he knew it would be best to keep him busy... take his mind off the guilt he was feeling. Having Buck there to deal with was enough of a trial for poor Nathan without adding JD to it, too.

"And... Chris?" Nathan stared regretfully at the gunslinger. "Maybe you'd better wire Maude."

Chris paled slightly at Nathan's inference and let his eyes rest on the gambler before turning to go. He didn't want to leave him anymore than the rest of them did, but there was nothing they could do for him now, and they still had a town to watch over. "We'll be back tonight to relieve you, Nathan... take care of him... and I'll send that telegram."

Nathan watched as the others filed slowly out, and then looked over at Buck who was still talking softly to Ezra, saying anything that popped into his head that might get a reaction out of him. The healer placed his fingers on the gambler's neck and was relieved to find his pulse a little stronger. Now if he'd just wake up.

*******

It was the next night before Ezra finally began to show signs of coming to. Everyone was there and had been for most of the evening. It was late and they were all tired, but no one wanted to leave... they just sat there, taking turns holding his hand and talking to him... hoping he would know they were there with him, and at least be comforted by it.

Buck closed his eyes for a minute... a lack of sleep was starting to take its toll on him. When he opened them again and looked at Ezra, he was amazed to see him looking back at him. "Ezra? You with us, pard?"

The others were out on the landing, talking and getting a breath of fresh air, and didn't hear Buck's whispered question. Nathan glanced through the open door and saw Buck urgently motion for him to come inside.

"What is it?" Nathan hurried around the end of the bed, hoping to see some change in his patient.

"He was looking at me, Nathan... didn't say anything, just stared at me for a minute an' then closed his eyes again." Buck kept his gaze riveted on Ezra's face... waiting... hell, praying... for him to finally wake up.

Nathan patted the gambler's face gently, trying to rouse him. "Ezra... come on now, open your eyes. Ezra?"

The rest of the men heard Nathan trying to wake him and hurried back in to hover around the bed. They were all watching as Ezra's lids fluttered and slowly opened. He stared at the men around him as they all started talking to him, welcoming him back. They were all so excited and relieved that he'd finally woken up, that no one noticed what was happening to him. No one except Buck.

Buck felt Ezra's hand tense in his and tightened his grip on it, and then took a closer look at him. That's when he saw it... the fear. "Ezra... what's wrong?" He leaned in closer and saw the faint trembling that rippled through the younger man, and the tears that were beginning to fill his eyes as he stared from one man standing over him to another. "Ezra... look at me, pard. It's Buck... do ya recognize me?"

The others finally saw the gambler just staring up at them and stopped talking. Their eyes widened in shock as Ezra's face scrunched up, tears streamed down his cheeks, and soft sobs shook his slender form.

They started forward, but Buck waved sharply at them to stay back. Ezra had a death-grip on his hand and Buck tugged on it, drawing the gambler's attention back to him. "Ezra... tell me what's wrong... please?"

Ezra stared at him, his voice hitching as he tried to talk. "Who... who arwe you? Wherwe's my mama? I want my mama!"

Buck stared in amazement as Ezra painfully sat up and curled himself around his broken arm... his good hand tearing away from Buck's to fist fretfully at his eyes, all the while crying out in a child's lisping voice for his mama.

"Shit... Nathan, what the hell's going on?" Chris whispered as they all watched Ezra sobbing pitifully on the bed.

Nathan shook his head, his face creased with worry as he moved carefully around the bed behind Ezra. "I don't know for sure, but stay back... he's terrified. Let Buck handle things for now."

Buck's heart broke at the sight of the gambler looking so lost and scared. "Shh now... it's all right, pard. No one here's gonna hurt ya... we just want to help ya." He reached his hand out slowly and placed it on Ezra's arm, tugging gently until he got his hand down away from his face. He winced at the pain and fear he saw in the liquid green eyes that stared back at him. "Ezra? Can ya talk to me? Tell me what's wrong?"

Ezra stared back at the ladies man, his lower lip quivering and his breath coming in soft gasps as he tried to talk, his southern accent stronger than they'd ever heard it. "H-how do you know my n-name?"

Buck inched his hand down Ezra's arm until he had it wrapped around the younger man's fingers again. He squeezed gently and held Ezra's gaze as he answered him. "I'm a friend of your mama's... we all are."

"You know my mama?" Ezra's face still reflected the pain he was feeling, but the fear had faded a little. "What's yourw name?"

"My name's Buck... and your mama asked us to take care of ya." Buck felt the slender fingers in his hand squeeze back, and he slowly eased himself forward until he was resting on the edge of the bed. "How old are ya, Ezra?"

The others stared as the years seemed to melt away. Ezra's face actually began to look like that of a small boy's... the hard look of cynicism was gone and in its place shone a childlike innocence. "I'm five... why did my mama w'eave me herwe? Did I do somefin' wrong again?"

Buck heard the small voice quiver softly on the last question and knew Ezra doing wrong in his mama's eyes had probably been a common occurrence in the young child's life. He saw Ezra's face turn a shade paler and a light sheen of sweat appear on his skin with the effort he was making to stay upright in the bed. Buck moved slightly closer to the gambler as he answered. "Naw... you didn't do nothin' wrong... your mama just needed to go away for awhile and asked us to watch out for ya. We've sent for her, and she should be here soon."

Nathan inched along the edge of the bed trying to get within arm's reach of Ezra, fearful that he was going to pass out and tumble to the floor. He motioned for Buck to try and get his arms around the weakening Southerner.

Buck stared into Ezra's face, saw the glazed look in his eyes, and knew he wouldn't last much longer. He slid further across the bed until he was close enough to gently wrap one arm around the bare shoulders of the smaller man. "You okay there, little guy? Why don't ya lean over here against ol' Buck and let me hold ya for awhile."

Ezra hesitated for a second, staring into Buck's eyes as if trying to decide if he could trust him, and finally, with a small sob of pain, eased his head down against the larger man's shoulder.

"That's it, baby... you're gonna be okay now." Buck reached up and gently ran his hand up and down the gambler's arm in an effort to soothe him.

Ezra whispered wearily, "I'm not a baby."

Buck chuckled softly and leaned down to look at him. "Sorry, pard... I know you're not a baby. Ya feelin' okay?"

Another whisper, this time laced with pain, answered him. "I'm fine. Jus' s'weepy."

"Just sleepy? You're sure nothin' hurts?" Buck knew he had to be in considerable pain, he could hear it in his voice and see it etched on his face.

"I tol' you... I'm fine." Buck looked down, saw the tears slowly trickling down Ezra's cheeks, and looked at Nathan helplessly. Nathan pointed at himself and then at Ezra... it took Buck a moment, but he finally figured out what the healer wanted. He nodded and turned the gambler slightly so he could see the other man standing by the bed.

"Ezra? This is Nathan... he's another friend of your mama's, an' he's a doctor. He wants to check you over and make sure you're alright... okay?" Buck felt the slight form he held in his arms tremble and push back against his chest. "It's alright... he's not gonna hurt ya."

Ezra squinted at Nathan as he settled beside him on the bed. The pain in his head was making it hard for him to focus his eyes. "Nafan?"

"Yup... Nathan's my name... and yours is Ezra, right?" Nathan could tell the Southerner was having trouble seeing, and knew he was nearly exhausted with all that had happened.

Ezra finally got a good look at the healer, and his eyes widened slightly as he became aware of the man's dark skin. "Arwe you a s'wave?" Then his surprise turned to worry and he looked around the clinic. "I'm not at Unca Maffew's, am I? Arwe you one of *his* s'waves?"

Nathan heard the hint of tears in his voice again, and hurried to reassure him. "I'm not a slave an' you're not at your Uncle Matthew's. You're here in Four Corners with us."

"I'm not at Unca Maffew's?" They could all hear the relief in Ezra's voice, and each of them wondered darkly exactly what went on at this Uncle Matthew's when Ezra was a child.

"No, you're in my clinic... you were brought here so's I could fix ya up." Nathan watched as Ezra looked down at his splinted arm.

"What happened to me... did Unca Maffew... did he..." They could all see the fear wash over Ezra's face again as he struggled to speak, and they knew the subject of his uncle would definitely be brought up when Maude arrived.

"Naw... it weren't your uncle. You fell and hurt yourself, that's all." Nathan watched him relax slightly... and then saw him gulp convulsively several times and knew he was having trouble. "Ezra... are ya okay?"

Ezra looked up at Buck and then at Nathan as he took a deep shuddering breath. He shook his head slowly. "I don't feewl good."

"Are ya gonna be sick?" Nathan asked, motioning quickly for one of the others to hand him the bucket he kept in the clinic for just such emergencies.

Ezra scowled at him and shook his head. "I jus' tol' you, Nafan... I aw'w'eady *am* sick!"

Nathan tried not to smile as he hurried to explain. "No... no... I meant do ya feel like you're gonna throw up?"

Buck felt the younger man's stomach contract under his hand and nodded quickly at Nathan, but Ezra continued to fight it. He swallowed several times as his face turned a nasty shade of green and shook his head again. "Can't... not a'wowed."

Nathan glanced back at Chris and the others, and saw the same confusion on their faces that he felt.

Buck glanced down and spoke to the smaller man cradled against his chest. "You're not allowed? Who told ya that?"

Ezra moaned softly as he fought against his rebellious stomach. "Mama..." he gulped again. "Mama hates when I'm s-sick... she... she'll take me to Unca Maffew's if... if I f'rwow up."

Buck smoothed the hair back off Ezra's sweaty forehead and leaned down to whisper in his ear. "She's not takin' ya nowhere... you're stayin' right here with us. Now if ya gotta throw up, you go ahead and do it... it'll make ya feel better."

Chris and Vin exchanged a determined look as they listened to the exchange between Buck and Ezra. Maude was definitely going to hear what they thought of her version of motherhood. No wonder Ezra was the emotional mess that he was... trusting no one, not being able to admit when he was sick or hurt... it was all becoming clear as they listened to Lit'l Ezra.

Nathan held the bucket ready beside the bed... he could tell by the gambler's face that he wouldn't be able to hold back much longer. It was only natural that he was sick to his stomach... the head injury alone was enough to cause it. Then pile on top of that all the stress he was now under, and it was sure to happen.

Ezra looked into Nathan's eyes, and as the tears started falling again, mumbled, "Nafan... I'm..." and the healer jerked the bucket up under the gambler's face just in time. Buck wrapped his arms around him, holding his broken arm still as his body jerked with each spasm.

Vin and JD immediately made a dash for the landing, their own stomachs rolling in sympathy with their friend's. Chris soaked a cloth in cool water and held it ready for Buck to wipe Ezra's face with when he was done, while Josiah moved to the stove and filled a mug with some of the willow bark tea that he knew Nathan would want to give him to ease the pain and settle his stomach.

Ezra was crying and nearly hysterical by the time his stomach stopped heaving, and Nathan had to struggle to get the tea into him. "I'm sowwy, Nafan... I trwied not to do d'at... pwease don't send me away... don't make me go to Unca Maffew's!"

Buck clung to him and wiped his face and mouth with the cool cloth Chris handed him, and whispered softly in his ear. "Shush now... no one's gonna make ya go nowhere... it's alright... you couldn't help it... shh..."

"Come on, Ezra... drink this for me, please? It's gonna make ya feel better." Nathan tried to hold the cup to the gambler's lips, but he kept twisting his head away.

"No, Nafan... it tastes yucky... pwease don't make... owww... ohhh... Nafan, my head huwts..." Ezra struggled weakly, and Nathan finally was forced to grip his chin tightly in his hand and hold him still while he forced the tea into his mouth. The smaller man coughed and sputtered as the foul tasting liquid was poured down his throat, and the only thing that kept him from kicking out at Nathan in childish anger were the blankets that had tangled around his legs.

When Nathan finally decided he'd gotten enough of the tea into Ezra and released his hold on his chin, the gambler turned around and buried his face in Buck's shirt, sobbing and moaning softly that he hurt.

Chris reached around behind Buck, propped a pillow against the headboard and held it still while the ladies man leaned back, pulling Ezra with him so that he was cradled against his chest.

Nathan carefully checked the splints on Ezra's arm and slipped a pillow under it to help cushion it. Then after pulling the blanket up over the gambler's shoulders and tucking it in, he eased himself onto the chair, leaned back and closed his eyes... exhausted from the struggle Ezra had given them. Buck rubbed his hand soothingly across Ezra's back and continued to reassure him he was okay until he finally felt the smaller man relax against him and heard his hitching sobs slow and then stop. By the time Ezra was asleep, Buck had joined him... his arms wrapped tightly around the gambler and his head drooped forward, cheek resting on the top of Ezra's head.

Chris and Josiah prodded a protesting Nathan out of the chair, and moved him over to the cot on the other side of the room. He was out like a light before they could even pull the covers over him. Two days of constant vigil over Ezra had taken their toll on both the healer and Buck.

Vin and JD had wandered back into the room as soon as they heard things quiet down, and now they stood staring at the usually stoic and unreachable gambler snuggled cozily against Buck Wilmington's chest. They all were worried and wanted to find out more about Ezra's condition from Nathan, but knew it would have to wait until morning.

"So who's supposed to be on watch tonight anyway... I can't remember." Chris looked tiredly at the others as he tried to get his mind focused on something other than the worrisome situation with the gambler.

"I'm on duty t'night, an' it was s'posed to be Buck's turn t' ride patrol in the mornin'," Vin reminded him.

"I'll take Buck's turn on patrol tomorrow, he needs to be here with Ezra," Josiah volunteered as he stared at the pair sleeping soundly in the bed.

"Well, then you and JD go get some sleep, and I'll stay here and watch over things till either Nathan or Buck wake up." The others reluctantly agreed, and after one last worried glance at Ezra, left the clinic.

Chris moved quietly over to the bed and reaching down, smoothed some stray curls back off Ezra's forehead, feeling the slight fever warming his skin as he did so. He smiled slightly and shook his head at the sight of the gambler and the ladies man curled up together in the bed. <This is going to make for some interesting teasing once Ezra's back to his normal self.> Then the grin slipped off the gunslinger's face when his thoughts continued... <*if* Ezra returns to his normal self.>

He sighed worriedly and settled himself in the chair by the bed, propping his feet up on the mattress in an effort to get comfortable. He dozed off and on during the night, but even in sleep his mind was focused on the gambler and what they were going to do if the worst happened and he stayed the way he was now. When morning finally came, he was no nearer an answer to that question than he'd been the night before. He just knew one thing... Ezra wasn't going anywhere. Somehow they'd deal with his problem together... as a family... and Maude would definitely not be in the picture.

*******

PART TWO

Chris was sitting slouched in the chair, contemplating waking Nathan up so he could go get some sleep, when he heard Ezra begin to whimper softly. He moved over to sit on the edge of the bed, bending down slightly to look into the gambler's face, and saw tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. The gunslinger reached out and gently touched the hand that was wrapped tightly in Buck's shirt. "Ezra? You okay?"

Ezra opened his eyes slightly and stared at Chris for a few moments before finally whispering, "Who arwe you?"

"My name's Chris... is your head hurtin'? Do you want me to get Nathan for you?" Chris could tell he was in pain by the pinched look around his eyes, but Ezra shook his head no and pulled his hand away to swipe the tears off his cheeks. "Are you sure? Nathan's gonna want to know if you're not feelin' good."

"I'm aw'w'ight... I... ohh..." Ezra's eyes squeezed shut, and his fingers gripped at Buck's shirt again as pain shot through his head.

Buck jerked awake with a gasp as he felt Ezra's fingers dig into his stomach, his arms automatically tightening around the other man.

Chris laid a restraining hand on Buck's shoulder, holding him still until he got his bearings. He released him as soon as he saw the memory of what had happened wash over him.

Buck glanced down at Ezra, and seeing the fresh tears on his cheeks, shot a questioning look at Chris.

"He says he's alright, but I think he's fibbin' a bit." Chris smiled when Ezra's eyes shot open and a blush of guilt washed across his face.

Buck put his fingers under Ezra's chin and tipped his face up so he could look into his eyes. "Okay, pard... how come you're not tellin' us when you're feelin' bad? We can't help you if ya don't let us know when somethin's wrong."

"D'at would be compwainin', an' Mama tol' me I'm not s'pose to do d'at." Fresh tears welled up in Ezra's eyes, and they could hear the pain in his voice. They were still amazed at how much he looked and sounded like a little boy... the transformation was so complete there was nothing left of their Ezra except his body. Even his gestures were childlike now. They even saw his thumb drift toward his mouth the few times he'd actually let go of Buck... but of course Maude would never have allowed that, so he always ended up jerking it away before it got too close.

"It's not complaining if we ask you to tell us, is it?" Chris asked, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he watched Ezra's face scrunch up in concentration.

"I s'pose not... but you won't tewll Mama wiwll you? She stiwll might not w'ike it." Ezra spoke softly as if afraid his mama would hear him.

Chris glanced up when he heard the door click open, and watched as Josiah, Vin and JD quietly entered the room... then returned his gaze to the anxious face looking at him. "We promise we won't tell her."

"Pwomises don't mean nuffin'... grwown-ups neverw keep d'eirw pwomises." Ezra spoke the words matter-of-factly, as if it were just a proven sad fact of his young life.

Buck and Chris exchanged a questioning glance and came to a silent agreement... maybe they should find out whatever they could about the boy's life... it might help them understand the man better. Seeing Nathan join the group gathered around the bed, they glanced up at him.

Chris spoke quietly to the healer, keeping his eyes on Ezra. "Nathan... think it'll be alright if we ask him a few questions?"

Nathan thought a minute, looking down at the smaller man still leaning against Buck. "S'pose it ain't gonna hurt nothin'... so long as he don't get upset. Jus' let me check 'im over first." He turned his attention to his patient. "How ya' feelin', Ezra... does your head still hurt?"

Ezra looked up at the healer, started to shake his head no and then looked at Chris and Buck. Seeing them smile reassuringly, he turned his eyes shyly back to Nathan and slowly nodded his head. "Yes, Nafan... it huwts a w'ittle."

Nathan reached out and felt the gambler's forehead, relieved to find the skin only slightly warm. He gently checked the cut on the back of Ezra's head, and was glad to see that it was clear of infection... but he had a feeling he was playing down exactly how much pain he was in. Nathan knew he had to have one heck of a headache after the blow he'd suffered. He shifted Ezra's broken arm around gently until it was nestled more securely on the pillow, touching the fingers briefly to make sure they were warm. "How 'bout your arm... how's it feel?"

Ezra stared down at his splinted arm and thought a minute. "It huwts a w'ittle, too... kinda w'ike a toofache... but not a w'eal bad one."

Nathan nodded and lifted the blanket slightly to look at the deep purple contusions that ran down the length of the gambler's body. "Are these bruises botherin' ya much?"

Ezra placed his hand on the edge of the blanket and pulled up slightly as he bent to see what Nathan was talking about. He startled all of them when he suddenly sat back up, jerked the blanket out of the healer's hand, and clutched it against his chest. His face was a bright red as he leaned over and whispered hoarsely, "Nafan! I'm naked underw d'erwe!"

They all tried not to laugh, they honestly did... but the look of total embarrassment on Ezra's face was just too priceless. And their efforts to stop were useless when his look of embarrassment changed to one of indignation. Even their usually imperturbable leader had tears in his eyes.

Ezra stared angrily at them, his green eyes flashing, until finally the pain in his head and his tender little boy's feelings got the best of him. His face began to crumple as his eyes filled with tears. "Y'all arwen't bein' verwy nice."

The laughter ground to an immediate halt when they realized they'd hurt his feelings. Buck wrapped his arms around the gambler and whispered soothingly in his ear. "We're sorry, little guy... we didn't mean to hurt ya... and you're right, that wasn't very nice. Forgive us?"

They were all kicking themselves for forgetting that technically they were dealing with a five year old, not the grown man they saw lying in the bed. They all mumbled an echo to Buck's apology, and watched as Ezra slowly nodded before leaning weakly back against the ladies man, still clutching the blanket to his chest.

Nathan grabbed the forgotten nightshirt that JD had brought from the gambler's room and carried it over to the bed. "Here Ezra, let's slip this on ya." Buck helped him slide it over the younger man's head and work his arms through the sleeves, carefully easing the material over the awkward splints, and then placing the arm back on the pillow that rested in Ezra's lap.

Buck leaned him back against his chest again. "How's that... better?"

Ezra nodded, staring solemnly at the men that surrounded the bed. Tugging on Buck's shirt and peering up at him, he pointed at JD, Josiah and Vin, and whispered, "Who arwe d'ey, Buck?"

Buck bent down to whisper back, "Well... the one with the funny hat there is JD, and the fella with the purty hair is Vin, and the big one is Josiah."

JD started to protest the comment about his hat until he saw Ezra's face light up and heard him laugh... suddenly he didn't mind the teasing so much. It was worth it to make that familiar grin of the gambler's appear.

Nathan watched as Ezra rested his head against Buck's chest and closed his eyes for a moment, his brow furrowing as he battled against the pain he was still feeling. The healer went and filled a mug with some of the herbal tea, and brought it back to the bed.

Ezra saw him coming with the disgusting concoction and pressed himself back against Buck. "No, Nafan! I'm aw'w'ight... it doesn't huwt d'at bad now... pwease, Nafan... don't..." Tears filled his eyes as he shook his head back and forth, his hand coming up to try and block Nathan's attempts to get the mug to his lips.

"Come on now, Ezra... I can tell your head's hurtin'... drink some of this for me an' it'll make it feel better." Even with Buck's help, Nathan was having trouble getting any of the tea into the gambler without spilling it all over him.

"Ezra! Behave and do as Nathan says!" Chris's voice cut through the argument between the two combatants on the bed.

Ezra froze. His mouth dropped open and his wide, panic-stricken eyes flew to Chris's face... widening even more when he saw the stern look the gunslinger was shooting his way. Finally he managed to tear his eyes away from Chris, and looked sheepishly up at Nathan.

"I'm sowwy, Nafan... I'll drwink it if you want me to." Ezra's face wrinkled up in disgust, but he quietly sat and drank every last bit of the tea. Nathan actually felt bad for him by the time he was done, because he practically choked trying to get it all down. But every time he hesitated, his eyes drifted over to Chris and he immediately started drinking again.

Nathan wiped the gambler's face off when he finished and smiled at him. "There now... that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Ezra just stared up at the healer for a minute as if he couldn't believe what he'd just heard, and then had everyone snickering again when he said, "Nafan... have you everw tasted d'is stuff?"

Nathan chuckled and then nodded. "I know it's pretty bad, but it'll make ya feel better, and then you'll be glad ya drank it."

Ezra looked doubtful, but didn't argue with him. Instead, he turned his attention to Chris. His face paled slightly, and his lower lip quivered as he hesitated and then finally apologized. "I'm sowwy I was bad, Chwis... arwe you... arwe you gonna make me go to Unca Maffew's?"

Chris saw the tears welling up in the gambler's emerald eyes, and immediately regretted speaking so harshly to him. This was definitely not how he had imagined Ezra to be as a child. If this Uncle Matthew was the one responsible for turning what had probably been a bright and precocious little boy into the timid and subdued personality they were all witnessing now... then heaven help him if he ever showed his face here.

"No, I'm not making you go to Uncle Matthew's. I promise." Chris saw the doubt and mistrust in the Southerner's eyes, and asked softly. "Ezra... did Mama leave you at Uncle Matthew's a lot?"

Ezra nodded as the tears slowly began to trickle down his cheeks. "But not jus' at Unca Maffew's... w'ots of pwaces."

"What sort of places... with other relatives?" Chris kept his voice low and reached out to gently hold the gambler's hand.

Again Ezra nodded, his eyes never leaving Chris's as he talked. "She w'eft me even if d'ey didn't want me. Most of d' time d'ey jus' pwetended I wasn't d'erwe." They watched as a shiver shook his slight frame. "Except forw Unca Maffew."

"Weren't any of them glad to have you stay with them, Ezra?" Josiah found it hard to imagine that not one of the relatives who had kept him had realized what a sweet child he was and treated him accordingly.

"Jus' Unca David." Ezra's expression brightened slightly. "He was aw'ways nice to me. But Mama neverw w'eft me d'erwe verwy w'ong... she said he spoiwled me too much." Ezra looked up at the men and quickly explained. "He didn't w'eawy spoiwl me... he jus' wasn't mean to me. I stiwll had to help wif chorwes an' stuff w'ike d'at, but it wasn't 'cause he made me... it was 'cause he tol' me we all had to worwk togeverw. He said d'at was what w'eal famiwies did."

It was obvious to the other men that this Uncle David was probably the sole reason Ezra hadn't ended up a bitter and angry young man. It had to have been where he had developed all the good and decent traits that had surfaced in him since he'd become a part of their group. Lord knows, he hadn't learned anything that redeeming from Maude or this Uncle Matthew they were hearing about.

"I'll bet you wish you could have stayed there all the time, don't ya? Sounds like a pretty nice place to live." JD could see how much Ezra's Uncle David meant to him, and wondered why Maude hadn't just left him there since she obviously didn't want him with her.

"Uh-huh. I wuvved stayin' wif Unca David. He neverw got mad at me, orw hit me, orw nuffin'. An' he aw'ways espwained when I didn't un'erwstand why he made me do somefin'... he said he jus' wanted me to grwow up to be a good perwson, an' he was jus' twyin' to teach me how to do d'at." Ezra's face fell as he continued. "He wanted to keep me forw aw'ways 'cause he saw d' brwuises d'at I got at Unca Maffew's... Unca David was w'eawy mad d'at Mama kept takin' me d'erwe instead of w'ettin' me stay wif him. He tol' me he was gonna get Mama to sign paperws so d'at I'd neverw have to w'eave him again."

Chris saw the tears start welling up in those sad green eyes and hated to ask his next question, but they needed to know what had happened to Ezra to make him so mistrustful and suspicious of everything they tried to do for him. "He didn't get to keep you, did he?"

Ezra shook his head sadly. "Nuh-uh. Mama showed up one day wif Unca Maffew an' said d'ey werwe takin' me wif d'em. I starwted crwyin' and Unca David tol' me not to worwy 'cause he wouldn't w'et d'em take me. But Unca Maffew made him go in d' wibrwarwy wif him and when d'ey came out, Unca David was crwyin'. He hugged me and tol' me he was sowwy, but I'd have to go wif d'em... he couldn't keep me d'erwe anymorwe. I didn't w'ike seein' Unca David crwy, so I pwetended I didn't carwe d'at I had to go... but it didn't worwk, 'cause he was stiwll crwyin' when we w'eft. I neverw got to see him again."

The other men glanced at each other, wondering what this Matthew had used to blackmail Ezra's uncle David with.

Ezra began to tremble as he thought about what came next. "I had to go stay at Unca Maffew's forw a w'ong time afterw d'at. He was w'eawy mad at what Unca David had trwied to do... an' he bwamed me an' punished me w'eawy bad when he got me back home."

"Ezra... what did Uncle Matthew do to you?" Chris felt the other man's fingers tighten around his, and watched as he began to rock slowly back and forth.

"Not s'posed to tewll." Ezra's voice had dropped to a hoarse whisper, and he began to tremble as he struggled against the memories of the dark times he'd spent at his uncle's plantation.

Buck began gently rubbing his hand in small circles over the younger man's back and leaned forward to whisper soothingly in his ear. "It's alright, Ezra... we won't let your uncle hurt ya anymore."

Nathan kept a close eye on his patient, ready to stop the questioning if he thought it was becoming too much for him. He wanted him kept as quiet as possible, but he also wanted to know exactly what he had been put through as a child. He'd seen the faint scars that were scattered over Ezra's body... the worst of them being the all too familiar ones that crisscrossed his back... and he had a feeling he was finally about to find out where they'd come from.

"Who told you not to tell, Ezra? Uncle Matthew... or your mama?" Chris didn't want to believe that Maude knew what was going on and left him there anyway... even she couldn't be that uncaring... but he had to ask.

"Unca Maffew... he said if I tol' anybody, he would huwt my mama." Ezra's eyes darted toward the door as if he expected his uncle to come crashing through it at any minute.

Vin placed his hand on the gambler's shoulder, and squeezed gently. "It's okay, pard... he ain't here, you're safe with us."

"Ezra?" Chris waited for Ezra to turn his gaze back to him before asking his question once more. "What did Uncle Matthew do to you?"

Pain, real and remembered, darkened the wide green eyes that stared out at Chris. The terrifying memories of what had happened to him at the hands of his uncle flooded his mind and intensified the headache that had been plaguing him since his fall. The tears fell harder, and he began to whimper as he finally answered Chris. "He gave me a whippin' wif his belt... he said he was teachin' me w'espect forw my... my..."

They could see him trying to puzzle out the word his uncle had used, and Nathan finally took a guess at it. "Elders?" He watched as Ezra trembled and ran his fingers lightly over the pale scars on the back of his wrist. The healer reached out and pulled the gambler's hand away, moving his splinted arm back onto the pillow, and then gently placed his own dark hand over the scars, smiling sadly at the Southerner as he looked up at him. God, he hoped his suspicions were wrong... but he had an awful feeling he knew what had caused those marks and exactly what kind of whipping Ezra's uncle had given him.

Ezra nodded and leaned weakly back against Buck, his whimpers turning into soft sobs. "Uh-huh... d'at's d' w-worwd he used. He said I needed to be taught a w'esson on how to w'isten to orwderws. S-said Unca David had spoiwled me and h-he was gonna b-beat it outta me."

Josiah placed a large hand on Ezra's head, gently smoothing his hair back. "Did he do anything else to you, son?"

Ezra turned haunted eyes up to the big man and began to tremble violently. "I... I don't w'ememberw." He turned to bury his face against Buck's chest, and began to cry harder. "It huwts to w'ememberw, Buck... pwease don't make me."

Buck held him tight and began rocking him gently. "Shh... you don't have to remember anything... you just stop thinkin' about it an' try to sleep now. It's alright, little guy... Buck's got ya an' no one's gonna hurt you anymore."

Josiah stared sadly down at Ezra sobbing in Buck's arms while his mind went back over all he'd just learned about Maude. He'd known she wasn't the perfect mother, but he'd never imagined she was this cold and uncaring. Josiah wanted to deny what the gambler had said, but he knew in his heart that this five-year old version of Ezra was telling the truth. Any feelings Josiah'd had for Maude Standish died as it became apparent exactly how miserable she'd made his young friend's childhood.

Nathan looked at Chris and Josiah and shook his head. "He's had enough. That tea he drank should be makin' 'im tired now, so let's leave 'im alone so's Buck can try an' get 'im t' sleep."

They all followed Nathan outside and hovered around the door, wanting to be near in case Ezra needed them.

Buck continued to rock the gambler until he finally felt his body relax. "Ezra?" When there was no response to his whisper, he looked up and caught Vin's eye, motioning him to come in. "He asleep?"

Vin leaned over, looked at Ezra's face and nodded. "Yeah, he's out. Ya want me t' help ya lay 'im down?"

"Yeah. Pull that pillow over a little bit, and we'll just slide 'im off onto that." Between the two of them, they managed to get Ezra off of Buck and stretched out on his stomach on the bed. After tucking a pillow carefully under his broken arm and pulling the blanket up snugly around his shoulders, they stood for a moment looking down at him, waiting to see if he was going to stay asleep.

He squirmed around in the bed a little, and Buck quickly bent over and rubbed his back, whispering soothingly in his ear until he settled down again.

Vin frowned as he saw Ezra's thumb make another move toward his mouth and stop just short, coming to rest on the bed beside his face. Even that small piece of childhood comfort had apparently been denied the gambler. Vin couldn't resist it... he reached down, slowly slid Ezra's arm over, and slipped the thumb into his mouth. He chuckled softly when he saw the Southerner's lips curve up in a small smile and begin sucking gently.

Glancing up, he caught Buck grinning at him. "Nice touch, pard."

He shrugged and grinned back. "Just seemed like the thing t' do. Seems t' be makin' 'im happy and I guess that's all that matters."

Buck nodded... and after one last look at the contentedly sleeping gambler, followed Vin out of the clinic.

*******

As soon as Buck and Vin had joined them, Chris turned his attention to the healer. "Any idea what's going on with him, Nathan?"

Nathan shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "I don't know what t' tell ya, Chris. I've read about stuff like this happenin' after a severe blow t' the head, but I ain't never actually seen no one go through it. I got no idea what's gonna happen with 'im... he might be back t' normal when he wakes up, but then again it might last for days or even weeks."

Vin stared through the door at Ezra, taking in the boyish features which, relaxed in sleep, only enhanced the illusion that the gambler was a small child now. "Nathan... how is it that Ezra don't notice how big he is? That he's the same size as us... not little like he should be if he was really five?"

The others stared at the peacefully sleeping form of their friend and were amazed that they hadn't thought about that before. Nathan thought a minute, and then tried to explain the best he could.

"Well, I don't rightly know for sure, but I figger his mind jus' blocks that part out so's he ain't gotta deal with it. It's gonna protect 'im by lettin' in only as much information as he can handle an' no more. At least, that's what I think's happenin'... I jus' don't know 'nough 'bout this kinda stuff t' really be sure 'bout it. An' I think we gotta be real careful not t' say anything that's gonna make 'im realize he's different than what he thinks he is. That might jus' destroy his mind completely."

"Would it do any good to take him to the doctor over in Eagle Bend?" Josiah asked, knowing the healer was doing the best he could, but grasping at anything that might help Ezra.

"I doubt it... nobody really knows much 'bout these types of head injuries. Maybe at a hospital in some big city back east or in San Francisco, but there's no guarantee that they'd be able t' help 'im either... an' right now, the trip would probably be too much for 'im." Nathan stared morosely at each of his friends, and they saw in his eyes the helplessness he felt at not having better answers for them.

JD struggled to blink back a sudden rush of tears as his guilt at his part in this whole mess threatened to overwhelm him. "He is going to come out of it though, isn't he, Nathan? I mean, eventually?"

Nathan could hear the desperation in JD's voice, and glancing at Buck, saw the same emotion reflected in his sad blue eyes. He wanted nothing more than to be able to guarantee them that everything would be fine... that Ezra would wake up soon and be back to his old self... but he couldn't. It would just be an empty promise because he had absolutely no way of knowing when or even if the Southerner would recover his memory.

"There's jus' no way of knowin', JD. Ain't nothin' we can do but wait." Nathan couldn't remember ever feeling so useless. Aside from keeping Ezra comfortable, there was absolutely nothing else he could do for him.

"You mean he could stay this way forever an' there's not a damn thing we can do about it?!" Buck was angry... not with Nathan for his lack of knowledge or answers, but with himself for causing the damn accident. If he hadn't started horsing around with JD in the first place, none of this would have happened.

Nathan knew Buck's anger wasn't really directed at him, but he still couldn't help feeling a stab of guilt at not being able to do more for Ezra.

"Easy, Buck... this is no one's fault... and getting angry isn't going to help Ezra. The best thing we can do for him right now is to make him as comfortable and happy as possible. You heard him in there... he had a rotten, lonely childhood. Maybe this is our chance to fix that." Josiah glanced through the door at the peacefully sleeping gambler. "Maybe we can give him back some of what he missed out on as a child."

"Josiah's right." Chris placed a soothing hand on Buck's shoulder and squeezed gently. "And who knows, the memory of what we do for him now might just carry over *when* he comes out of this."

Everyone heard Chris stress the word when, and knew he wasn't ready to give up on Ezra coming back to them. They all felt a little hope flicker in their hearts at the confidence he seemed to be feeling for the gambler's full recovery. Heck, even Ezra Standish... as stubborn and bullheaded as he was... didn't stand a chance against Chris Larabee when he was determined to make something happen.

Nathan saw renewed hope in the faces around him, and felt a little of the weight of responsibility lifted from his shoulders. He knew they were all going to be working together to take the best possible care of their friend, and if there was any possible way to bring Ezra back, they would find it.

After much discussion, it was decided that at least for now, they would keep Ezra confined to the clinic. Nathan knew how careless and cruel people could be with their comments, and he didn't want any stress placed on Ezra by any of the curious townsfolk. Not to mention what could happen if any dissatisfied losers from his previous poker games found out what condition he was in. The gambler had made a few enemies since he'd come to Four Corners, and they wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of his current vulnerable state to exact their revenge on him. Besides, if Ezra failed to remember his time spent as a five year old, which is pretty much what Nathan thought was going to happen, then they didn't want anyone mentioning it to him afterward.

The six of them would treat Ezra as the five year old he believed himself to be with absolutely no mention of his real age, or what had happened to him. Nathan was afraid if they tried to push him into remembering, he might suffer even more emotional damage and slip further away from them. If he did start to remember something, they'd encourage it as long as it didn't seem to be upsetting him. And there were to be no more questions about his uncle or what he'd done to Ezra. If he brought it up himself, they would listen to what he had to say, and then gently change the subject. They just wanted him happy at all times. Chris also insisted that he never be left alone, not even for a minute. He remembered all too well what sorts of things five year olds could get into, and he knew Ezra, in his present state, would be no different. If anything... with his quick mind, he'd probably be worse.

"So are we clear on everything then?" Chris asked as he stood and got ready to head off for some much needed sleep. They'd decided that since Ezra had become so attached to Buck already, he would be relieved of his duties as peacekeeper for now so that he could spend as much time with him as possible... at least until Ezra had had a chance to get comfortable with the others. Nathan was going to stay with the gambler while the ladies man left to have a quick bite of breakfast and gather up what he'd need for an extended stay at the clinic. Vin was headed to bed to get a few hours sleep before coming back to spend some time with Ezra, Josiah was off to take Buck's turn at patrol, and JD was going to take guard duty at the jail.

Everyone nodded at Chris and turned to leave, but were suddenly stopped in their tracks by Josiah's quiet voice. "What about Maude?"

Chris turned to stare at the preacher, and shook his head in amazement. Shit... how could they have possibly forgotten about Ezra's mother? The gunslinger's expression hardened as he thought about what they'd learned of Ezra's childhood. "Well, first of all, we haven't heard a thing from her, so maybe if we're lucky, she's off on some con and my message will never catch up with her. But if it does, and she shows up, she's not to be allowed near him. Whoever's on watch when she comes in on that stage, come and get me and Nathan." He saw the skeptical looks on their faces as he looked at each one, and then turned back to the healer. "Nathan, you'll give her the medical facts about what happened to Ezra, and I'll give her my opinions on her lousy attempt at motherhood. Then we'll inform her that she's been relieved of her *motherly* duties, and that we're taking over."

"But, Chris... she's his mother... shouldn't she at least be allowed to see him once?" JD was obviously nervous at the thought of trying to keep Maude separated from her son.

"If we decide she can talk to him, it will only be in the presence of the six of us. He has a hard enough time dealing with her when he's thinking like an adult... he wouldn't stand a chance against her now. I don't care if you have to throw her in the jail to prevent it... she's not seeing him until Nathan and I've talked to her. You all got that?" Chris waited until every one of them had nodded, and then pushed past them and headed for his room. He may have sounded confident to them, but his head was already beginning to throb at the prospect of having to deal with Maude Standish. Damn... why the hell did he ever send that telegram in the first place?

*******

Nathan had gone to fetch them some lunch, leaving Buck alone in the clinic with Ezra. He was sitting in the chair by the bed watching the gambler, when he finally saw his eyes quiver and then slowly open. He blinked several times, took a few more pulls on his thumb, and let his eyes drift shut again. Buck was just reaching out to touch his arm and speak to him, when suddenly Ezra's eyes popped open. The gunman watched as the realization that he was sucking his thumb struck the younger man. He snatched the offending digit out of his mouth and shoved it quickly under the pillow, shooting a panic-stricken look at Buck. "I'm sowwy... I didn't mean to do d'at."

Buck smiled reassuringly and pulled Ezra's hand back out from beneath the pillow. "That's alright, pard... nothin' wrong with it."

"Mama says men don't suck d'eir f'umbs... orw crwy... orw..." Ezra stopped when he saw Buck shake his head at him.

"First of all, you're not a man... you're a little boy. And second, your mama's not in charge of what you can or can't do anymore... we are. And- " Buck was interrupted as Nathan and Vin walked in, each carrying a tray of food.

"And... we just want ya t' be happy." Vin smiled at Ezra as he set the food down on the table, and then moved to squat next to the bed.

Ezra smiled shyly back... and then frowned as what Buck had said finally sunk in. "Mama's not in charwge of me now?"

Buck shook his head and watched Ezra carefully to see how he was going to react to the idea. "Nope... you're part of our family now, so ya have to go by our rules, not your mama's."

Ezra struggled to sit up, crying out softly as he forgot and leaned on his left arm. Buck and Vin hurried to help him up, holding him until his arm stopped hurting, and then easing him back against the pillows. They watched sadly as he quickly dried his tears while shooting them nervous glances... as if he expected them to start yelling at him at any moment. "I'm sowwy... I..."

"Okay, Pard," Vin interrupted Ezra, gently taking his hand and holding it. "First rule ya gotta learn is that it's okay for ya t' cry when ya need t'. You're just a little boy an' little boys are allowed t' cry. Okay?"

Ezra stared suspiciously at them, but they saw a glimmer of hope in his shiny green eyes. "You won't get mad an' send me away if I crwy?"

Buck sighed and took the smaller man's chin in his hand. "Ezra... you gotta understand... when we promise ya somethin', we mean it. And we promise that there is absolutely nothin' you can do to make us send ya away."

Nathan stood over by the table listening to the exchange going on between the three huddled together on the bed. He wanted to try and get Ezra to eat something, but he was willing to wait if they could get him convinced he was safe here with them.

Ezra stared hopefully back at Buck as he thought about what he'd said. "Nuffin'?"

Buck smiled and shook the gambler's chin gently. "Absolutely nothin'. Now, how about some lunch? You gotta be gettin' kinda hungry by now."

Just then Ezra's stomach growled, causing him to look down in surprise.

Vin laughed and gave the Southerner a playful poke in the belly. "Guess that answers that question."

Ezra squirmed away from Vin's finger and let out a burst of giggles that echoed gleefully around the clinic. The three men stared at him in wide-eyed amazement. They were seldom lucky enough to get so much as a chuckle out of the gambler, much less anything as heart-warming as this. And they were still worried sick about his condition, but at the same time it was nice to get a glimpse at what Ezra might have been like if he hadn't been cursed with a mother like Maude.

"Aha... somebody's ticklish!" Buck raised his eyebrows at Vin, and when the tracker nodded, they attacked the gambler... gently tickling him until he was doubled over with laughter and gasping for Nathan to help him.

"Alright you two, mind his bruises now... ya hurt 'im an' you're gonna have t' answer t' me!" Nathan tried glaring at the two men, but they immediately jumped off the bed and shot him a look of such pure innocence that he couldn't help but laugh.

Ezra took advantage of Nathan's distraction to carefully scoot himself back against the headboard, and sat there catching his breath while reassuring the healer that he was alright. "It's okay Nafan, d'ey didn't huwt me. I w'iked it!"

"Oh, ya did, did ya?" Vin nodded at Buck and they started creeping toward Ezra again, their fingers stretched out in front of them wiggling threateningly.

"Nafan!! Help!!" Ezra squealed and frantically pulled his feet out of their reach, sending Vin and Buck to their knees in a fit of hysterical laughter.

Nathan stared at the three men and found himself just as amazed at Vin's transformation as he was at Ezra's. Vin was usually quiet and reserved, keeping his feelings and past to himself almost as much as the gambler did. Now here he was entertaining Lit'l Ezra with all the unabashed fervor that Buck was showing. But as much as Nathan enjoyed seeing Ezra and Vin having fun for a change, he knew it was time to call a halt to the play. The Southerner's body was still recovering from the shock of the fall, and he was going to need plenty of rest and quiet for a while yet.

"Why don't you two go eat 'fore that food gets cold, an' let me get some of this broth into my patient." Nathan carried the bowl of broth over and sat on the bed beside Ezra. "Ya ready t' try an' eat somethin' for me?"

Ezra leaned over and peered into the bowl, wrinkling his nose as he saw the brown liquid that Nathan was stirring. "What is it, Nafan?"

Nathan hid a grin as he looked up and saw the face the smaller man was making. "It's jus' some beef broth... it'll help ya get your strength back." He scooped up a small spoonful and moved it towards Ezra's mouth... which was now firmly shut. "Ezra... come on now... ya gotta eat if'n you're gonna get better."

"I can feed mysewlf, Nafan... I'm not a baby, you know." Ezra grumbled as he moved his head back out of the healer's reach.

Nathan scowled at the gambler, waiting for him to give in and eat the broth. But Ezra merely screwed his face up tight and shook his head as he held his hand out for the spoon.

Nathan stared at him for a moment, then finally relented and handed it over. He heard Vin and Buck laughing as they watched the confrontation, and shot them a venomous look for encouraging the Southerner.

Buck nudged Vin and whispered loudly, "Looks like Ezra's always been bull-headed. Chris'll be glad to know he's not just doin' it to aggravate 'im."

Nathan shot the gunman a warning glance, but Ezra was too intent on getting the spoon to his mouth without spilling anything to notice what was being said. He took a small taste of the broth, seemed to decide it was okay, and continued on to slowly empty the bowl the healer held for him.

The three men smiled at the look of total concentration on Ezra's face, and silently cheered him on as he struggled with the spoon. Watching the usually poised and graceful Southerner awkwardly trying to feed himself, they realized sadly just how little of the adult Ezra was left. And even though they were thoroughly enjoying their visit with Lit'l Ezra, they'd give anything they had to have him back the way he was before the accident.

Ezra had almost reached the bottom of the bowl when it happened... his hand tilted too soon and soup spilled down the front of his white nightshirt. The color drained from the gambler's face as he looked down at the spreading stain, and they could all see the fear that shone brightly as he quickly jerked his eyes back up to Nathan's.

Nathan reached out to take the spoon from Ezra, but stopped suddenly as the smaller man ducked away from his outstretched hand as if anticipating a blow. The spoon fell from Ezra's fingers as he pulled himself to the far side of the bed and lay down. They all watched in dismay as he curled himself up in a ball, his body shaking uncontrollably as heart-wrenching sobs tore through him.

Nathan stayed back as Buck hurried over to try and console the heartbroken Southerner. He reached out and touched Ezra lightly on the shoulder, and uttered a silent curse against Maude, Uncle Matthew and anyone else from the gambler's past who had hurt him when he felt the smaller man flinch. "Hey, pard... it's okay... it's only a little soup. Nothin' some soap an' water won't fix."

Vin watched Buck trying to console Ezra for a moment, and then slipped quietly out the door. His face was dark with anger as he crossed the street, entered the saloon, and ran lightly up the stairs to the second floor... his thoughts so focused on the sound of Ezra's weeping echoing through his head, that he never even noticed Josiah as he passed him.

Josiah saw the look on his face and instantly knew something had happened with Ezra. He followed quickly up the stairs behind Vin and stopped in the doorway of the gambler's room, watching in amazement as the tracker stood in front of the dresser, jerking the drawers open and slamming them shut again as he angrily mumbled to himself.

"Vin? You all right? Something happen to Ezra?" Josiah worriedly questioned the younger man as he moved up behind him and placed a calming hand on his shoulder.

Vin stopped his frantic searching, gripped the edge of the dresser, and took a few deep breaths to try and get his anger under control. Finally, when he thought he could handle a conversation with the preacher without shouting, he turned and looked up at him.

Josiah was startled by the fury still evident on Vin's usually placid face. His fear for the gambler's well-being tripled the moment he stared into the younger man's eyes. "Ezra? He's not..."

"No... he's the same." Vin sighed and ran his hands wearily over his face. "I'd just like to get my damn hands on this Uncle Matthew of his and dear old Maude for what they did t' him as a kid. He's over there right now, sobbing because he accidentally spilled soup on hisself. He actually ducked when Nathan reached out t' help him... ya could see he thought he was about t' get smacked. And now he's convinced we're gonna send him t' his uncle's because he was bad. I came over t' get him a clean nightshirt t' see if it would calm him down some... besides, I just had t' get outta there 'fore I lost it completely and scared 'im more than he already is."

Josiah moved to the dresser and began searching for Ezra's nightshirts as he struggled to clamp down on his own anger at the thought of what the gambler had been put through in his young life. Not just at the hands of his abusive uncle and his uncaring mother either. They... his so-called friends... had not treated him much better. They had all given him a hard time about the walls he kept around his emotions... about his inability or unwillingness to fit in. And instead of trying to find out why he kept them shut out, they had just allowed him to stay on the fringes of their group... claiming they wanted him to join the family, but not making any effort to help him. So in their own way, they had contributed to his feelings of loneliness and insecurity. But maybe this was their chance to rectify their mistakes... they at least owed it to Ezra to try.

Pulling a couple of soft, cotton nightshirts out of the drawer, Josiah turned to find Vin watching him closely with a small crooked grin on his face. It was only then that he realized that he'd been muttering the whole time he'd been digging through the dresser... sharing his thoughts on the gambler without even knowing it. He smiled sheepishly at the tracker and shrugged his shoulders.

"That's okay, Josiah. I think we've all been havin' those same thoughts. We got a lot of makin' up t' do when it comes t' Ezra and this sure seems like a good time t' get started." Vin headed for the door, waiting for Josiah to pass through into the hall before pulling it closed behind him. "And who knows... maybe Chris is right an' Ezra'll remember on some level what we're doin' for 'im now. It might make a difference in how he feels about hisself when he's back t' normal if we can give 'im some of what he missed out on before." Vin smiled up at Josiah as they started down the hall. "An' I don't think it's gonna be all that hard for us t' do that either. Lit'l Ezra sure is a cute little cuss, ain't he?"

The thought of Ezra's reaction to being called a 'cute little cuss' made them both grin and their laughter echoed through the saloon as they made their way down the stairs and out into the street.

*******

PART THREE

Buck eased himself down on the bed beside Ezra and rubbed his back soothingly as he bent over and whispered in his ear. "Ezra? Come on now... it was just an accident. Nobody's mad at ya... honest."

Nathan knelt on the floor in front of the smaller man and gently pulled his hand away from his face. He frowned when he saw how flushed Ezra's face was, and reached out with a gentle hand to smooth the tears from his cheeks, checking for the fever that he suspected had returned. "Hush now, little guy... it weren't your fault, it was mine. I shoulda tucked a towel under your chin in case your hand slipped... I knew ya were still kinda weak."

Ezra stared at Nathan, his sobs slowly subsiding as he realized that the healer wasn't yelling at him... and, in fact, was taking the blame for the accident. His voice shook as he quietly argued against Nathan's logic. "But I sh-shoulda w'istened to you an' w'et you feed me d' b-bwoff w'ike you wanted to."

Nathan shook his head at Ezra as he continued to run his fingers along his cheek, smiling softly as he felt the gambler unconsciously nuzzle his face against his hand. The small child in Ezra was starved for any kind of affection, and seemed to be searching it out in even the simplest of touches. "You were jus' tryin' t' learn t' do for yourself... ain't nothin' wrong with that. It's jus' a part of growin' up."

Ezra hesitantly put his hand on Nathan's arm... his fingers nervously rubbing back and forth on the healer's sleeve. "You'rwe not mad at me, Nafan?"

Nathan heard the slight tremor in Ezra's voice as he fought against the fear of being sent away, and realized that it was a deep-seated fear that the Southerner still dealt with every day of his life. No wonder he kept them at a distance... why go to the trouble of building friendships when he was positive they would be ripped apart the moment he made a mistake. When your own mother refused to love you unconditionally, how could you possibly trust that anyone else would. And if this was any example of how Ezra was as a child, Nathan wondered how in hell Maude could ever have held that love back from him.

"Naw... I ain't mad at ya. Ya did darn good only spillin' that little bit on yourself... heck, Buck makes bigger messes than that when he's eatin'." Nathan was relieved to see a small smile brighten Ezra's face. He also noticed Ezra's eyelids drooping, and knew it was time for him to get some rest. Glancing up, he saw Vin and Josiah quietly enter the clinic carrying a few of the Southerner's nightclothes. "Now, how 'bout we sit ya up here an' put a nice clean nightshirt on ya before ya settle down for a little nap."

Buck helped Ezra sit up and smiled at the startled look that washed over Nathan's face as Ezra suddenly leaned forward, laid his head on the healer's shoulder, and hugged him with his good arm. "F'ank you, Nafan... I'll be morwe carweful next time... I pwomise."

Nathan only hesitated for a second before awkwardly wrapping his arms around the Southerner and hugging him. "That's alright, Ezra... you jus' try t' remember we all make mistakes an' we're not gonna get mad at ya for yours. Okay?" Nathan felt Ezra's head barely nod against his shoulder and realized he was probably falling asleep. He could feel the heat of his fever through the nightshirt, and knew he'd let him overdo it romping around with Buck and Vin. "Ezra? Sit back here on the bed an' will get that dirty nightshirt off 'a ya."

He eased Ezra away from him and saw that he'd been right. The Southerner was barely able to keep his eyes open, and never even protested when they eased him out of his soiled nightshirt and into a clean one. After they laid him down, Nathan re-bandaged his head and checked his arm... tightening the bindings on the splints when he found the swelling had finally gone down some. Ezra was sound asleep by the time he finished.

Josiah tucked the blankets up under the younger man's chin, and ran his hand gently across his tousled brown hair before moving over to join the others at the table, gratefully accepting the coffee that Nathan handed him. "He's awful warm."

"Yeah, his fever's back. I'm gonna have t' try an' keep 'im a little quieter for a while til he has a chance t' heal up... or til he comes back to us." Nathan stared into his coffee as he tried to think of something... anything... that he could be doing for Ezra. He hated feeling this helpless when one of them needed him so badly.

Buck and Vin shot each other a guilty look. "Sorry, Nathan... we shouldn't've gotten 'im so worked up. He's just so damn... well, he's..." Buck blushed slightly as he struggled to express what he was feeling about the gambler. "Damn it... he's cute, okay? I can't help it... he's just so damn... damn... lovable, it's impossible to resist 'im."

Vin and Josiah looked at each other and burst out laughing. Josiah saw Buck's blush deepen as he mistakenly assumed they were making fun of him, and hurried to reassure the mustached gunman. "Easy now, Buck... we're not laughing at ya. Vin and I were just discussing ourselves what a cute little guy Ezra is, and how he's gonna react when he finds out what went on while he was on his little trip into the past."

Nathan frowned and shook his head. "He might not remember much 'bout any of this when his memory comes back. Maybe bits and pieces, but probably no more 'n that." The healer glanced over at the bed, his frustration at not being able to help Ezra showing plainly in his sad brown eyes.

Josiah knew what Nathan was feeling, and placed a comforting hand on his arm. "Don't be blamin' yourself, brother... we all know you're doin' the best you can for him."

"'The best I can...'" Nathan laughed bitterly. "My best's jus' not good enough this time... an' my lack of knowledge could leave 'im trapped in this second childhood of his for the rest of his life."

"Don't be givin' up on ol' Ezra just yet, Nathan. We seen 'im battle back from worse 'n this before." Vin skillfully turned the healer's thoughts away from his feelings of inadequacy as he got them all talking about the knack Ezra seemed to have for getting himself in and out of scrapes. He knew Nathan was aware of what he was doing, but at least he went along with it. They all needed a break from the constant worry over what was going to happen to the gambler, and he'd just provided them with one.

*******

Ezra's fever had come back down some by that evening, and Nathan was able to get some more broth into him, and even coaxed him into eating most of a biscuit and drinking a small amount of milk. Apparently Ezra's aversion to milk wasn't just an adult thing... he had such a hard time getting what little bit of it he did drink down, that Nathan finally took pity on him and told him he could quit before he'd even managed to drink half of it.

Nathan even convinced him to try feeding himself again. But even with a towel tucked under his chin to catch any drips, Ezra's nervousness at making another mistake had his hand shaking so badly, that Buck finally reached out and gently slipped the spoon from his fingers and finished the job himself. They'd wait till he felt more comfortable with them, and then see if they could get him to try again. For right now, it was more important that he ate so he could get his strength built back up.

When Ezra finally finished eating, Buck took the towel from under his chin, wet it, and proceeded to wash the gambler's face, even scrubbing in and behind his ears. He smiled as the gambler acted like a typical five year old, squirming and sputtering through the whole ordeal.

"You'rwe as bad as Mama, Buck!" Ezra grumbled at the older man as he finally released his face and allowed him to lean back against the pillows. The others had come in while Buck was wrestling with him, and couldn't help but laugh at Ezra's disgust with the gunman's treatment of him.

"What'd you want me to do? Leave ya sittin' there with food smeared all over your face?" Buck grinned as Ezra immediately began protesting. He loved the expression that appeared on the gambler's boyish face whenever he managed to get a rise out of him.

"I didn't have food all overw my face... and I surwe didn't have any in my earws!" Ezra argued as he dug his finger in his ear, trying to remove the water Buck had left in there.

Buck laughed and playfully scrubbed his hand across the top of Ezra's head. "Okay... okay... maybe it was only one little biscuit crumb on your chin, but I swear I saw potatoes growin' outta those ears of yours!"

Ezra stared at him for a moment, his mouth dropped open in surprise as his finger slowly felt around the edge of his ear. The whole room erupted in peals of laughter as the realization that Buck was joking with him slowly dawned on the Southerner and he smacked the older man on the shoulder, almost knocking him off the bed. Ezra's mind might have reverted to that of a child, but his strength was definitely still the same as before.

The laughter continued as Buck regained his balance and sat back up on the edge of the bed, gingerly rubbing his shoulder. "Dang, Ezra... you're a strong little sh-... um... little fella, ain't ya?"

Thankfully, Ezra didn't notice what Buck had almost said, and was concerned instead with the fact that he'd hurt his new friend. He reached out and hesitantly touched the larger man's arm, the worry evident on his face as he looked up into Buck's smiling blue eyes. "Did I huwt you, Buck? I'm sowwy if I did... I didn't mean to!"

"Naw... you didn't hurt ol' Buck, but I'm sure gonna have to remember to duck next time I start funnin' with ya. Ya pack a powerful wallop there! Let me feel that muscle." Buck gently squeezed Ezra's arm as he obligingly bent it, a huge grin spreading across the gambler's handsome face as the ladies man raised his eyebrows in feigned surprise. "Whooee, son... you been workin' out or somethin'? Or is it all that broth Nathan's been feedin' ya?"

Ezra giggled and just shook his head at Buck and the others as they all tried to feel his arm. "You guys arwe jus' kiddin' wif me, arwen't you. I'm onwy five... I don't have big muscwles."

JD laughed and reaching out, ran his hand across Ezra's chin. "You got whiskers at age five... why not big muscles, too?"

Buck reached up and whacked JD in the back of the head as they watched Ezra's grin quickly fade. His hand drifted up to his chin, and his eyes filled with confusion when he felt the soft stubble that grew there. "Buck?... Nafan? Why do I... how come I..." Ezra looked worriedly up at first Buck and then Nathan, his five year old mind working frantically to try and understand how this could happen.

The others quickly moved to soothe the distraught Southerner, carefully distracting him with a vague explanation of it having to do with his being injured. They finally got him calmed down when Josiah told him that it was just a sign that he was growing up, and that now he'd get to have his first shave. When he protested he didn't know how to shave, Josiah assured him that he could do it for him, and had to promise the younger man that he would take care of it first thing in the morning before Ezra would allow them to change the subject.

JD stood rubbing his head as he scowled at Buck and the others fussing over Ezra. He jumped when Vin whispered in his ear. "Think before ya open your mouth, Kid. Ya gotta remember... he thinks he's only five... don't be scarin' 'im like that."

JD backed away from the bed, a flicker of resentment for the gambler taking hold in him. How could they think he'd actually do anything purposefully to hurt Ezra? Did they actually think that little of him? And how come no one noticed that his feelings had been hurt by their actions... didn't they care about him anymore?.

No one even noticed when JD quietly slipped out the door, closing it softly behind him.

*******

The rest of them stayed huddled around Ezra for the remainder of the evening, talking and joking with him to take his mind off what JD had said. They were doing a good job of it too, until Josiah happened to mention the fact that it was only a couple of days til Christmas and he had yet to decorate the church.

Ezra looked puzzled and a little sad as he stared up at Josiah. "It's Chwistmas time?"

"Sure is, little guy." Josiah glanced uneasily around at the others, not sure how to proceed. "Don't you like Christmas?"

Ezra just shook his head and looked sadder. They watched as he slid closer to Buck, leaning his head tiredly against the older man's shoulder.

Vin smiled and patted Ezra's leg as he sat down on the other side of the bed. "Aw, come on now, pard... all little kids like Christmas. All those presents from Santa an' the tree decorated up all purty... what's not t' like?"

Ezra stared solemnly at Vin and shook his head again. "Mama aw'w'eady tol' me d'erwe's no Santa Cwause... d'at mamas and papas give d' pwesents."

"But didn't ya like the presents your mama gave ya?" Nathan asked the question, but was afraid he already knew what the answer was going to be.

Buck felt Ezra press even tighter against him and slipped his arm around him. "She said she couldn't be wastin' herw money on pwesents forw me. 'Sides... I was bad again an' was at Unca Maffew's forw Chwistmas an' had to stay upstairws in my w'oom in d' attic." His face brightened slightly and he smiled up at them as he continued. "But I snucked out and peeked frew d' w'ailin's while d'ey sat awound d' twee and opened d'eirw pwesents." The Southerner's expression grew wistful as he stared back down at the bed. "It w'ooked w'eawy nice."

The others exchanged looks of grim determination over Ezra's head as they each began thinking of ways to give the gambler his first real Christmas. Ezra might not remember it when he was back to normal, but they would.

They had hoped to begin taking turns spending the nights with him to give Buck a break, but Ezra became so distressed when Vin remained on the bed and the ladies man attempted to leave, that Buck quickly relented and returned to take the tracker's place.

"It's okay, Ezra... I ain't goin' nowhere." Buck eased himself back down beside the smaller man, and couldn't help but smile as Ezra immediately curled up against him, his head pressed tightly against Buck's chest, and his broken arm resting carefully on his stomach.

"F'ank you, Buck... I don't feel so scarwed when you'rwe wif me." Ezra sighed and finally let his eyes drift shut when he felt Buck's arms close around him.

Buck looked helplessly up at the others and shook his head. He knew in his mind that this was the same Ezra Standish who was a master at hiding his emotions... the same one who would rather die than admit he needed anything from anyone... but his heart was telling him something else entirely.

Buck's heart was telling him that this was the real Ezra Standish he was holding in his arms... not the one presented to the world as confident, self-serving and independent. This was the one that had been neglected and abused by everyone who should have loved him... who was so starved for any signs of affection and kindness, that he had latched onto the first person who'd finally shown him some. And apparently he had no intentions of letting go. But what amazed Buck the most about the whole situation... what kept him there in that bed beside the gambler... was that he had come to realize that he didn't want him to let go. Lit'l Ezra had wrapped himself right around the gunman's heart, and had captured it completely.

"Guess y'all might as well go on home an' get some sleep. Looks like I'll be stayin' here for awhile." Buck eased the blanket up over Ezra's shoulders and tucked it around him before settling himself back against the pillows.

"You sure, Buck? We could probably ease him up enough for you to slip out and one of us to slip in." Chris moved toward the bed, but Buck shook his head at him.

"Nah... he's liable to be a mite upset if he wakes up an' finds me gone. 'Sides... I'm kinda tired myself an' was gonna turn in anyhow. I can sleep just as well here as in my own bed." Buck blushed slightly as Chris gave him a knowing look, a slight grin playing across his lips.

"He's got to you, hasn't he?" Chris stared at his long-time friend as Buck struggled unsuccessfully to find words to deny what he was feeling.

Buck glanced down at Ezra's face, so innocent and childlike in sleep, and couldn't stop his arms from tightening protectively around the gambler. He knew he should feel uncomfortable and embarrassed at lying in a bed with another man, one who was at that moment snuggled tightly against him, but it just didn't seem wrong somehow. Ezra was his friend and he was in trouble... and anything he could do to help, Buck knew he was prepared to do. He looked back up at Chris and shrugged. "He needs me. He's so vulnerable right now and been through so damn much in his life, I just can't stand the thoughts of lettin' anything else hurt 'im. If all it takes is me layin' here with 'im to keep 'im feelin' happy an' safe, then I guess it's the least I can do for 'im. I think he'd do the same for me... or any one of you."

Chris gazed thoughtfully at the gambler, and then finally nodded in agreement. He'd thought at first that Buck was just acting out of guilt, but he could see that the ladies man was really becoming attached to Lit'l Ezra. Besides, maybe they'd be good for each other. Buck had an overwhelming need to be a big brother, as poor JD was constantly reminded of, and Ezra was definitely in need of someone to take care of him right now. As his thoughts turned to the youngest member of their group, he frowned and looked around the room, finally noticing that he was missing. "Where's JD?"

They all shook their heads and said they hadn't even noticed he'd left. Chris's frown deepened as he remembered the look on JD's face when he was reprimanded for bringing up the subject of Ezra needing a shave. He looked at the others still fussing over Ezra and realized the gambler wasn't the only one they'd have to be careful of. Poor JD was used to being the youngest and now he was being displaced by one of his older brothers. He'd have to have a talk with the boy in the morning and apologize for them over-reacting. The last thing Chris wanted was for them to lose JD while they were trying to find Ezra.

Chris took one last look at the pair curled up together in the bed before he and the others headed home for some much needed sleep. They had a lot of work to do over the next few days if they were going to make Ezra's Christmas a memorable one.

Nathan stopped at the door and looked back at Buck. "Anything ya need 'fore I leave?" He'd decided to make use of Ezra's bed since the Southerner didn't need him around the clock anymore. The extra cot he had was just too small to fit his larger frame comfortably.

"Ya wanna put a cup of water over here where I can reach it? He woke up last night needin' a drink, an' it took me forever to get 'im back to sleep again. I think it'll be easier if'n I don't have to jostle 'im around too much to get it." Buck waited til Nathan had left before blowing out the light and pulling some of the blankets over himself.

The moonlight coming through the window shone on Ezra's pale face, softening his features even more. Buck watched as he frowned slightly, a soft whimper escaping his lips as the beginnings of a nightmare disturbed his peaceful slumber. Stroking Ezra's cheek lightly, he bent his head closer to the gambler's and whispered, "Rest easy, Little One... Buck's here to protect you." The frown instantly disappeared as the smaller man snuggled tighter against Buck's body, and both men sighed contentedly and slowly drifted off to sleep.

*******

JD had hesitated at the bottom of the stairs after leaving the clinic. He knew he should go over to the jail and check on the drunk they'd had to throw in the cell earlier, but he just didn't feel like doing what was expected of him at that moment. They thought he was such a kid and totally incompetent, well then he guessed maybe he'd just go ahead and act that way. The young sheriff turned his steps toward the saloon, and after one last glance back at Nathan's window, pushed his way through the bat wing doors.

Inez watched JD stride toward the bar and knew immediately something was wrong. She couldn't remember ever seeing the young man wearing such a forlorn expression before, and hoped Ezra's condition hadn't worsened.

"I'd like a whiskey please, Inez." JD saw the shock of his request register on her face, and knew she had been all set to pour him his usual mug of milk.

"A whiskey, JD? Did something happen to Ezra?" Inez was taken aback by the reaction she received to her question.

JD's mouth dropped open and he emitted a short, harsh laugh as he shook his head disgustedly. "Geez, is that all anyone can talk about... Ezra and his *condition*? You know, other people have problems too, and - " He stopped when he saw the surprised look on Inez's face and immediately regretted snapping at her. There was no reason to take his hurt feelings out on her, and he wearily apologized before turning to leave. "Sorry, Inez... I'm just tired. Ezra's doin' 'bout the same... forget the drink, okay? I think I'll just go turn in and get some sleep. 'Night."

Inez watched JD dejectedly make his way back out of the saloon and decided she'd better mention his behavior to one of the others when she saw them. Something was definitely not right with the boy, and she would make sure someone found out what was bothering him.

*******

Buck brushed a hand drowsily across his face, batting away the fingers that were playing with his mustache. "Millie... not now, darlin'... I need more sleep." Suddenly he became more alert and smiled slightly as he heard a familiar masculine giggle.

"Buck... arwe you awake yet?" Ezra whispered as he reached up to pry open one of the gunman's eyes.

Buck stared blearily at the wide green eyes that hovered in front of him, and laughed softly as he replied, "Well I am now, pard. What do ya need... a drink of water?" He could tell by the soft light coming through the window that it was barely dawn, and he definitely wasn't ready to get up yet. His hand fumbled across the table, searching for the glass Nathan had left there, hoping that a drink was all it would take to get the gambler to settle back down.

"Nuh-uh... I'm not f'irwsty, Buck... I'm jus' w'onewy. Can't you wake up an' talk to me?" Ezra patted the gunman's cheek and added sweetly, "Pwease, Buck? Talk to me?"

Buck sighed and nodded drowsily. "Okay, little guy... what do ya wanna talk about?"

"Who's Miwwie, Buck?" Ezra asked, leaning heavily across the older man's chest, staring up into his face. "Is she yourw girwlfrwiend?"

Buck moaned and eased Ezra back a little, taking some of the pressure off his ribs. The gambler didn't look that damn heavy, but he sure felt it now. "Well... she's a girl... and she's a friend, but she's not exactly my girlfriend."

Ezra frowned and leaned back over Buck. "What is she d'en... z'actly?"

"Well... she's... she's..." the ladies man sighed once more and rubbed his eyes. "She's just a friend, okay?"

"Okay." Ezra was quiet for a moment. "Buck?"

"Hmmm?" Buck was finding it hard to stay awake, even with Ezra's elbows digging sharply into his ribs.

Ezra ran his fingers across Buck's chin. "Does it huwt to get shaved?"

"Not if you're careful... ain't you gettin' tired, little guy?" Buck peeked at the younger man and frowned when he saw those bright green eyes still staring wide-eyed at him. "Guess not," he mumbled as his eyes drifted shut again.

"Buck?" Ezra waited a minute, and when there was no answer, tried again... this time poking none-to-gently at the larger man's chest. "Buck?"

"What, Ezra?" Buck was trying to be patient, but he was tired and just wanted to sleep. Somehow he managed to keep his voice even and not snap at the gambler.

"Wiwll 'siah be carweful when he shaves me?" Ezra rubbed his fingers across his own chin and then across the ladies man's again, comparing them.

"Who?" Buck's brow wrinkled in confusion, his sleep-fogged mind finding it hard to decipher some of Ezra's childish talk.

" 'siah! He said he'd shave me in d' morwnin'. W'ememberw, Buck?" Ezra was beginning to get frustrated and it was making his accent thicker and harder to understand.

"Oh... Josiah, Ezra," Buck corrected, sleepily.

"Buck... d'at's what I said! 'siah... you'rwe not w'istenin' to me, Buck." Ezra was starting to get tired again, and a definite whine was starting to creep into his voice now.

"You're right, little guy... I'm sorry. Don't worry, Josiah'll be careful not to hurt ya. Now... can we go back to sleep?" Buck pried his eyes open once more and gazed pleadingly at Ezra.

"I don't want to s'weep anymorwe. Isn't it time to get up now, Buck? It's gettin' w'ight outside. Can't we get up now?" Ezra's weight thankfully left Buck's chest, and he was able to breathe a little easier while he tried to get himself woke up.

"What time is it anyway?" Buck grunted as Ezra leaned across him for a minute, and then yawned and stretched before opening his eyes fully and looking at the gambler. Ezra was sitting beside him, a confused look on his face, holding his pocket watch which Nathan had left lying on the night table along with some of his other personal belongings. The ladies man mentally kicked himself for forgetting that a five-year old wouldn't be able to tell time. "Here, Ezra... let me see it." Buck pulled himself up in the bed and leaned back against the headboard as he reached for the timepiece.

Ezra continued to stare at the watch as Buck eased it out of his hand, and then raised his questioning gaze to meet the older man's worried blue eyes. "Buck? D'is is my watch, isn't it? How come I can't tewll what time it is if I have a watch? I should know... shouldn't I?"

Buck swore to himself as he saw Ezra's eyes stray back down to the watch. It was obviously jarring a memory in him and making him nervous. "Naw... you're too little to know how to tell time. I just wasn't awake all the way yet an' didn't think about it when I asked ya." Buck looked at the watch and saw it had quit running, and figured it must have been damaged when Ezra fell. "Look... it don't work anyhow, so it don't even matter that ya can't tell what time it is."

Ezra couldn't seem to pull his eyes away from the watch, and he slowly reached out one trembling finger to trace over the numbers.

"Ezra? You okay, little guy?" Buck asked as he placed a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder, and then quickly wrapped his arms around the smaller man as he pushed himself back against his chest.

"I used to know how to..." Ezra's body began to tremble as he whispered softly, his eyes still glued to the watch. "I f'ink I should know how - Buck... I'm scarwed..."

Buck closed the watch and slipped it back onto the table. Then rocking the gambler gently in his arms, he whispered soothingly, "Shh now, Little One... it's all right... everything's gonna be okay. There's nothin' to be scared of... I'm right here an' I'll keep ya safe."

"Why don't I know anymore, Buck? I should know." Ezra's tortured whisper tore at Buck's heart as he clung tightly to the younger man, desperately trying to find a way to calm him. He knew Ezra wasn't ready for this memory... that it was only confusing him. Damn, he wished Nathan was here to help... he didn't have any idea how to deal with this, and he was scared he would just say something to make it worse.

"Ezra? You trust me, don't ya?" Buck felt the gambler nod once and continued. "Then ya gotta believe me when I tell ya everything's gonna be okay. You're just not old enough to tell time... it's not somethin' you're *s'posed* to know yet. Okay? Ya hear me? You're just not s'posed to know yet."

"Arwe you surwe, Buck? I feewl funny... w'ike I need to w'ememberw -" Ezra's words trailed off and his hand slid up to grip the gunman's arm tightly.

Buck closed his hand firmly over Ezra's and whispered reassuringly in his ear. "I'm positive, Little One... five year olds don't know how to tell time, that's all. Now... how 'bout ya curl back up here with me, an' we'll try an' get a little more shut-eye. I'm still pretty tired, aren't you?"

Ezra turned his face up to Buck's, and the older man had all he could do to hold back the tears as he saw how scared and confused the gambler looked at that instant. Ezra stared into Buck's eyes for a moment, and finally nodded. "I f'ink I'm tirwed too, Buck... maybe d'at's why I feewl funny, huh?"

"Yeah, pard... that's probably all it is. Why don't ya slide back down here an' let's try an' go back to sleep." Buck eased himself back down against the pillows and pulled Ezra over until his head was cradled securely against his shoulder. He reached up and slowly stroked his hand over the tousled hair until he finally heard the gambler's breathing slow and even out as sleep claimed him once more.

But sleep eluded Buck as he lay there holding Ezra tightly in his arms. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was the fear and confusion that the gambler had suffered through with that one tiny memory. What the hell was it going to be like for him when it *all* started coming back? How would his mind handle it... and what if it couldn't? What would happen to him then? A tear slid down Buck's cheek as he thought of the real possibility that Ezra may be lost forever, and he spent the rest of the night praying they'd be able to help their friend find his way safely back to them.

*******

Nathan and Josiah entered the clinic together talking softly, making plans for Christmas, and were immediately silenced when they saw Buck's anxious look and his finger pressed against his lips. They hurried over to ease Ezra off him when he motioned for their help and at his insistence, followed him back out through the door to the landing. Buck stood where he could keep an eye on the sleeping gambler, and finally tore his eyes away from him long enough to hand Nathan Ezra's pocket watch.

"Put this thing up where he can't see it," Buck ordered as he practically shoved the watch into Nathan's hands.

"What the hell happened, Buck? Is he alright?" Nathan asked as he looked back in at Ezra, searching for any signs of what had Buck so upset.

Buck scrubbed his hands tiredly over his face and sighed deeply. "He woke me up earlier because he was lonely an' wanted to talk. I was only half awake an' wasn't thinkin'... I asked 'im what time it was. When I opened my eyes an' looked at 'im, he had that in his hand an' was just sittin' there starin' at it."

Nathan and Josiah both looked down at the innocent looking timepiece the healer held, and then back at Buck, waiting for him to finish.

"He kept askin' me why he didn't know what time it was an' insistin' that he 'should know'. I tried to explain to 'im that I just wasn't thinkin' when I asked 'im that. Then I told 'im that he wasn't old enough to know how to tell time yet, but he just kept starin' at the damn thing an' repeatin' that he should know, an' that he was scared." Buck glanced worriedly back in the clinic at Ezra as he heard him moving about in the bed, but he merely rolled onto his stomach and settled back down again.

"It triggered a memory for 'im... an' I think it's probably a good sign that he'll come back... but it sounds like he ain't ready for it t' happen jus' yet." Nathan sighed despondently as he realized just how difficult it was going to be to get Ezra through this experience intact. There was just so damn much he didn't know or understand about what the gambler was going through, and he was terrified he was going to make a mistake and cause him irreversible harm in his bumbling attempts at healing him. "Josiah, could ya gather up anything ya can find that's Ezra's an' put it away where he won't see it? We're goin' t' have t' be even more careful with what he's exposed to. We'll give 'im a few more days, an' then try gettin' 'im to remember, but we're gonna have t' take it real slow, if we can. I don't think we should be floodin' his mind with too many memories at once. Oh, an' Josiah? Ya better hang a rag or somethin' over my shavin' mirror. If jus' seein' his watch upset 'im this much, I'd hate t' think what seein' his adult face in that mirror would do t' 'im."

Buck moved aside so Josiah could enter the clinic, and then turned back to Nathan. "I think I was 'bout as scared as Ezra was... not knowin' what to say to 'im... 'fraid I was gonna just make it all worse instead of better."

"Well, ya must've said somethin' right... ya got 'im back t' sleep an' he looks pretty peaceful." Nathan moved back into the room and walked quietly over to look down at the gambler.

Buck shook his head and reached out to pull the blanket back up over Ezra's shoulders, brushing a few wisps of hair off his forehead before settling himself down in the chair by the bed. "I didn't know what the hell to do, Nathan. I just finally asked 'im if he trusted me, an' when he said yes, I told 'im he just wasn't s'posed to know yet. He said he felt funny an' I got 'im convinced he was probably just still tired." Buck looked up at Nathan, his usually cheerful countenance lined with worry. "He's scared, Nathan... an' I hate it, 'cause I know it's only gonna get worse."

"I wish t' hell I could tell ya it wouldn't, but... yeah... you're right... it's probably gonna get worse with every little thing he remembers. An' bout all we can do is be here for 'im t' try an' help 'im deal with it." Nathan sat on the edge of the bed and ran his hand lightly over Ezra's back as he saw the gambler begin to stir.

"What if it all comes back at once, Nathan? Is he gonna be able to handle it?" Buck moved to make sure he was in Ezra's line of sight when he awoke.

Nathan watched as Ezra's eyelids twitched and slowly opened. "There's no way of knowin', Buck... we'll jus' have to wait an' hope it doesn't happen that way. An' if it does, an' he can't handle it, then we'll have to be here t' pick up the pieces an' take care of 'im."

Buck nodded and reached out to lay his hand over Ezra's as it slid across the bed toward him. "Mornin', pard. 'Bout time ya was wakin' up."

Ezra yawned, and then smiled at Buck. "Guess I *was* s'weepy, huh, Buck?"

"Told ya so. Ya ready to get your lazy butt up an' eat some breakfast now? Ya gotta be hungry... ya slept the whole mornin' away." Buck and Nathan helped him up when he nodded and settled him back against the headboard, piling pillows behind him to protect the still tender bruises on his back.

Josiah walked over to the bed and nodded at Buck and Nathan to let them know he'd gotten everything that could be a reminder to Ezra out of sight. He squatted down beside the smaller man, and patted him gently on the arm. "Hey there, little fella... how ya doin' this mornin'?"

"I'm fine, 'siah... you gonna shave me now?" Ezra's eyes twinkled at the prospect of getting to do something as grown-up as shaving.

"Well, how 'bout I go get us all some breakfast, and then we'll see what we can do about gettin' those whiskers off that handsome face of yours." Josiah ruffled Ezra's hair as he stood back up and looked at the others. "What's everybody want to eat?"

Buck rubbed his rumbling stomach and smiled up at Josiah. "I don't know 'bout anyone else this mornin', but I'm starved. I'll have some ham, eggs, potatoes, bacon, an' a couple of biscuits. That might do me til dinner. Oh yeah, an' ya better grab some mugs of coffee since *someone* forgot to buy some." Buck grinned at Nathan as the healer began to grumble.

"Well, *somebody* would still have coffee if a certain person didn't guzzle it all day." Nathan looked pointedly at Buck, and then grinned as he looked down at Ezra and noticed his reaction to the gunman's breakfast order.

Ezra's jaw dropped and he stared incredulously at Buck. "You'rwe gonna eat all d'at?!" His wide green eyes dropped to stare at the gunman's flat stomach, and he shook his head slowly. "How can you eat d'at much, Buck? Don't all d'at food make you sick?"

"Hey, I'm a growin' boy... I need to eat to keep up my strength." Buck laughed at the look of disbelief that washed over the gambler's face.

"Buck! You'rwe teasin' me again! You'rwe all grwowed up... you don't need to eat as much now." Ezra giggled and poked at the older man's belly. "You'rwe gonna get fat eatin' d'at much food!"

Nathan and Josiah laughed and agreed with Ezra, assuring him that they'd been trying to tell Buck that for a long time now.

Buck stared at the other three men in mock indignation. "So you're all gangin' up on me, huh?" He leaned in close to Ezra who was giggling even harder at the look on his friend's face, and poked him several times in the stomach. "An' what do ya call this? Feels to me like I'm not the only one who's gettin' fat... must be that biscuit an' jelly you ate last night."

Ezra immediately stopped laughing, stared down at Buck's finger for a moment, and then quickly burrowed under the blankets to peek at his stomach. Suddenly a muffled "Buck! You'rwe foolin' me again!" drifted out at them, and Josiah and Nathan collapsed together on the bed, laughing helplessly while Buck doubled over on the chair, his head and arms resting on the bed beside the gambler as he laughed until tears streamed down his cheeks.

They'd finally started to get themselves under control when Ezra's head popped back up, and the sight of the usually fastidious gambler sitting there with his hair sticking up wildly in every direction and an accusatory look of disgust on his rosy cheeked face, set them all off again.

"What arwe y'all w'aughin' at?!" Ezra exclaimed as he watched the others rolling around holding their sides, their laughter ringing through the clinic.

Buck managed to point at Ezra's head and gasp out, "Sorry... little pard... can't help it... you're hair... it's... it's..."

Ezra's eyes rolled up as he tried unsuccessfully to peer up at his hair, causing the others to dissolve once more into hysterics. He finally reached up and felt his head, his face breaking out in a huge grin when he realized why they were laughing. Leaning forward, he rubbed his hand over first Buck's and then Josiah's heads until their hair was just as wild looking as his own. He turned to Nathan and the gleeful look on his face turned to one of consternation as he stared at the healer's head. "No fairw, Nafan... you'rwe hairw's too shorwt!"

Nathan wiped the tears of laughter from his cheeks and reached out to quickly wrap one arm around Ezra, his fingers digging gently into the gambler's stomach while running his other hand back and forth across his head, creating an even bigger mess of his hair than before. "Yeah, but yours ain't!"

"Nafan! Stop!!" Ezra's giggles escalated until they were merely gasps for breath, punctuated by hiccups of laughter. "Pwease, Nafan... stop!"

Buck and Josiah stared at the usually impassive healer, their mouths hanging open in astonishment at seeing this new side to him. It was beginning to look like Lit'l Ezra was working his magic on even the most stoic of the group. An image of Chris laughing and playing with the usually fractious gambler flashed through Buck's mind, and he couldn't help but smile at the idea that Ezra might even be able to worm his way into their fearless leader's heart if given half a chance.

Nathan fina