Don't Leave
(ATF)

by Leanne Grant

Author's Notes: My second attempt at a song fic. The song is Don't Leave by Faithless


Back to: Goodbye To You

Packing your bags like people in the movies do,
All severe, and not saying a word,
And I'm sitting down here just watching you,

Ezra sat on the bed with his knees pulled up against his chest. He had tried not to look as Vin packed. But the betraying rustle and soft thump of clothes disappearing into a bag drew his eyes constantly until he stared avidly, a drowning man watching rescue fade into the horizon.

And I'm thinking:
Where is all the love gone?
Where's the love gone to?

Maybe it had run out, all been used. Did love do that? He wasn't sure. Made a kinda sense. Vin had used up all the love he had for Ezra and so he was moving on. Leaving.

Don't leave,

Please.

You got me hurting,

I didn't know it could hurt this bad. He nearly smiled. Mr Tanner, I wish to register a complaint. I wasn't in possession of the full facts. I demand a refund. He almost spoke aloud, to see if he could make Vin smile but didn't think he could speak without crying.

Don't leave
You know it's never been easy to love someone like me,

But I can change. Be however you want me to be. I got lazy, too relaxed. I can fix that. Whatever you want, whoever you want, I can be.

Oh, don't leave.

Please.

Hanging with friends like we used to do,
I didn't know anything was wrong,

The job was a pain, he hated it sometimes, but that's the way things were, they both loved being part of Team Seven and there were no problems there. So what had gone wrong? What had he done? How could he fix things if he didn't know? How could he change if he didn't know what Vin wanted? He asked, offered, begged but Vin had just shaken his head, his face calm with sorrow, as if Ezra not knowing was the whole problem. And Ezra had gone silent.

And last night while I was thinking it through,
Trying to find who am I and what you need me to do?

He wanted to ask again but he knew if he moved he would shatter. He didn't know what Vin needed but what Vin didn't need. Vin didn't need him. Vin needed to leave him. He heard Vin's voice playing through his head. "I'm sorry Ezra, I need space. I need to leave. I have to go."

Need to leave.

Have to leave.

Don't leave.

The words were stuck in his throat.

There's a record you used to play,
there's Joni singing
'best to be without you',
And I know just what she's singing for,

Oh yes he knew. 'For the best' Vin had said. Ezra had wanted to say, best for who? But he hadn't. Couldn't. Couldn't even scream.

Help me I'm falling

Falling from heaven like a burned out star.

Where did all the love go?
Where's the love gone to?

He loved Vin so much. And he knew, was pretty sure at any rate, that Vin had loved him. Where had it gone? Love used to shine from Vin, from his actions, touches, words, looks. All gone, as if it had never been. His Vin had left and now a stranger packed his bags. Ezra didn't recognise this stranger, didn't know what to say. Only understood that if this stranger with Vin's face left, he'd have nothing left.

Don't leave.

He wanted to fall to his knees and beg, please oh please

You got me hurting,

He could barely breathe for the pain clogging his throat.

Don't leave.

Anything, Vin, anything.

You know it's never been easy to love someone like me,

I'm sorry Vin; I know I'm an awkward cuss, a thoughtless nuisance, a pain in the ass, a mouthy shit, a conscienceless bastard, an unprincipled hustler...

But God Vin, I love you, ain't never loved anyone like you.

Oh, don't leave.

If he was honest he had never thought he could love anyone like he loved Vin. Of course he wasn't honest, crooked as a corkscrew was Maude Standish's baby boy. Naturally Vin was leaving. How could he have ever loved Ezra to begin with? Oh, but he had been so sure Vin had.

Where did all the love go?
Where's the love gone to?

There had been love, hadn't there? It was gone now. The last remnants vanishing as Vin cleared all traces of his presence from Ezra's apartment. Soon nothing would be left.

Don't leave.

So lonely without you.

We'll fly around the world, give you what you're giving me,
I should have dressed you up in purple,
Finest silk to touch your skin,

Nothing was too good for Vin. Should have been more careful. Should have treasured their days together more. Shouldn't have been so secure in forever, 'cause they didn't have forever. There was no more time at all.

Don't know how to write a love song,

Didn't know much at all about love until Vin showed him. But he tried, tried his best for Vin. Tried to be who Vin wanted him to be. He'd thought it had worked. Would give anything for it to have worked.

But Don't leave.

And I'll fix it, whatever it is I'll fix it, stop it, change it. I can do or be anything you want.

You got me hurting,

Worse than anything.

Don't leave.
You know it's never been easy to love someone like me,

I know it can't have been easy Vin. I got too many walls, too many barriers. But nobody broke them down like you did. And I need them, need their protection. More than ever because you're leaving. Colder than he remembered, his walls were all he had left. His words froze in his throat.

Don't leave.

Vin determinedly zipped his bags shut.

Don't leave.

Slinging one bag over his shoulder, he picked up the other and nodded to Ezra.

Don't leave.

Turned on his heel and walked out the room. The door clicked shut behind him.

Don't leave.

Listening hard Ezra heard his boots click across the condo. Heard the main door open and shut. And finally he heard Vin's jeep roar away.

Don't leave.

THE END
Goodbye To You Index On to: Getting Back To Good


Note: there appear to be several versions of this song so I picked the one I liked best

Don't Leave by Faithless

Packing your bags like people in the movies do,
All severe, and not saying a word,
And I'm sitting down here just watching you,
And I'm thinking:
Where is all the love gone?
Where's the love gone to?
Don't leave,
You got me hurting,
Don't leave
You know it's never been easy to love someone like me,
Oh, don't leave.
Hanging with friends like we used to do,
I didn't know anything was wrong,
And last night while I was thinking it through,
Trying to find who am I and what do you need me to do?
Don't leave.
There's a record you used to play,
there's Joni singing
'best to be without you',
And I know just what she's singing for,
Help me I'm falling
Where did all the love go?
Where's the love gone to?
Don't leave.
You got me hurting,
Don't leave.
You know it's never been easy to love someone like me,
Oh, don't leave.
Where did all the love go?
Where's the love gone to?
Don't leave.
We'll fly around the world, give you what you're giving me,
I should have dressed you up in pearl,
Finest silk to touch your skin,
Don't know how to write a love song,
But Don't leave.
You got me hurting,
Don't leave.
You know it's never been easy to love someone like me,
Don't leave.
Don't leave.
Don't leave.
Don't leave.

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