You'll Never Know

This story first appeared on Wolfpup's Den (http://www.skeeter63.org/~wolfpupsden/) - a fantastic Sentinel site - under my pen name of Artos.

Blair closed his eyes and took a couple of very deep breaths. He had to calm himself down before he entered the loft, otherwise Jim would be all over him. Detective Jim Ellison was a cop, a detective with the Cascade Police Department; he was also a Sentinel - a human being with heightened senses, and a guardian of the city. In times past, a Sentinel would have watched out for the village, seeking the best feeding areas, making sure the tribe was safe from attack and keeping them protected from the weather. Now the Sentinel was a police officer that watched over Cascade with the same devotion as his predecessors had watched the tribe. Blair Sandburg was his guide.

Blair didn't really think that he did much for Jim. He just watched out for him when he was using his amazing senses, pulled him back from the edge of his zone out, a fugue state that a Sentinel could easily fall into if he was to concentrate too much on one of his senses. Blair also tried to keep Jim sane, when his abilities seemed to be more of a hindrance than help; Blair was there to show Jim the direction, the pathway he needed to take. Sandburg was doing it all with a wing and a prayer, and a gut knowledge that, Jim insisted, meant that Blair was just as important to the team as Ellison.

Blair disagreed, but it was not really an issue between them, as Blair liked what he did and Jim well, Jim accepted Blair for what he was. He considered him a good friend, a lifesaver, a partner who was to be trusted above all others. Besides, Jim also gave Blair a place to live, a stability that the younger man had never really had, and protected him like a bear with a wounded cub. This last was the part that Blair was having a problem with at the moment.

Blair had agreed to something that was really going to throw Jim off the deep end. He would be in blessed protector heaven. Blair imagined he could hear the roar of anger from where he stood and winced at the reaction. He took another breath as his heart rate picked up. He was dead.

The door to the loft opened suddenly and Jim peeked out. "Are you going to stand out there all night, Chief?" he asked matter-of-factly.

"Jim," Blair lied, rushing forward to enter their home. "I didn't realise you were home, man."

"What's up?" Jim asked as he returned to the kitchen and continued cutting his sandwich.

"Up? Nothing, well just." Blair stopped; what the hell was he doing? Jim could tell that he was lying from a mile away, and here he was just a few feet from him. "I'm dead," he finally admitted.

"You're dead," Jim repeated, the sandwich pausing inches from the Sentinel's lips. This was not the answer he had expected. "Excuse me?" he ventured, raising an eyebrow.

"Dead you know, as in cease to function, no longer breathing nailed to the perch kind of dead."

"Blair, do me a favour and don't talk about yourself as being dead it kinda makes me nervous, okay?" Jim asked as he placed the sandwich back down on the plate and moved towards his friend. "Now what exactly is the problem?"

Sandburg looked at Ellison, opened his mouth and closed it slowly. He had intended to remain quiet, determined not to speak a word until after it had happened, but his mouth had not agreed with his brain again, and as usual his mouth was getting his body into trouble.

"Jim," Blair began, "you know that I've been taking this class at the Uni every Thursday evening "

"Yes, you said it was a self-help group " Jim ventured, wanting to encourage Blair to get to the point.

"Yes, that's right self-help. Well, I, er that's to say, I went mainly 'cause Jack asked me to he has major problems with the dentist going that is absolutely freaks him out "

"Blair!" Jim warned; he was getting more worried by the second.

Sandburg held out a hand and offered, "I'll get there, but I really want you to understand how it all happened. I mean, I didn't just go into this with my eyes closed, you know." Even as he said the words, he wished that he'd kept his eyes wide open and his mouth closed.

"Blair, you're really getting me worried here, now what have you done?" Jim moved from the kitchen into the living area, his face creased with his concern.

Blair, seeing this and knowing that he was losing the thread of the conversation, said instead, "Jim sit down please."

"I don't want to sit down " Ellison snarled, then seeing the steely glint that entered Sandburg's expression and knowing that he would get nothing further until he did as requested, he marched over to the sofa and slumped down.

Blair followed him and sat in the chair facing him. Scratching his forehead he began, "I'm going to tell you everything, but you've got to promise me that you won't interrupt or get angry - especially the get angry part."

Ellison took a deep breath of his own and said as calmly as he could, "I promise to let you finish before I say anything."

"And not get angry," Blair ventured hopefully.

"Don't push it, Sandburg!" Jim warned, his voice icy.

"Okay. Well, like I said, I've been going with Jack to this self-help group and it sounded really good - I mean, they really got you talking about your fears. There's one girl there, Jenny, she is really afraid of flying. She's never been anywhere except by car or train, can you believe that?" He paused, then seeing the look on Jim's face he hastened onwards, "Well, as I was there every week I got asked if I had any, er, issues that I wanted to talk about you know fears." He smiled at that. "Anyway, the first few weeks I just brushed it aside - I mean, I was there for Jack, not me but, as the weeks passed and I really saw that they were doing good, I decided to get my feet wet and told them about my fear of heights." He paused, watching Jim for a reaction. Seeing that Jim was keeping his word about not interrupting, he hurried on.

"Jenny, the girl who's afraid to fly she took a round-trip flight to San Francisco two weeks ago, and Jack, man you will not believe this, but Jack went to the dentist last week and had some major work done. I mean, I was really proud of him and well, now now it's my turn to face my fear."

Jim looked sceptical as he repeated, "Your fear of heights?" Ellison had to admit, so far it didn't sound so wrong if Blair was getting help facing his fears, surely it couldn't be all bad?

"Yes, I'm going to face my fears of heights." Blair winced at the tremor he heard in his voice. "And not only that, but I'm going to raise a lot of money for charity at the same time," he added as a bonus. There he'd said it, now if he could only get himself to believe it.

Jim was silent for several very long minutes before he ventured cautiously, "And just how exactly are you going to face your fears and raise money for charity, Blair?" His tone was deceptively mild. Blair winced again; this was going to be a lot harder than he had thought.

"I'm going to do a bungee jump." Blair spoke so quietly that not even Jim was able to hear it. That was a feat in itself.

"Excuse me?" Jim said, leaning forward in his chair.

"I'm going to do a bungee jump," Blair said out loud, causing Jim to wince and pull back.

"A bungee jump?" Jim repeated slowly as the words sank in, then he surged up and snarled, "The hell you are what do you think you were doing? Bungee jumping do you know how dangerous that is? People have been blinded back and neck damage, not to mention that you'll have a heart attack before you even jump "

"Jim," Blair said, trying to gain the Sentinel's attention. "Jim," he repeated when he was ignored. Finally he jumped up and yelled, "JIM!" That got the other man's attention. "I have to do this and it's all above board. It's a yearly event for charity, and the people who do it are professionals there is nothing to fear." It sounded like a mantra to Jim, and one that Blair had obviously been practising.

"Blair," Jim said, moving towards his friend. "You jumped out of a plane you free fell hundreds of feet, you faced your fear you don't need to do this."

"Yes yes, I do," Blair said, refusing to meet Jim's look. "I promised to do this and I will, and well, the reason I'm telling you is because well 'cause I I want you there, Jim."

"Blair, you have nothing to prove not to me not to any of the guys down at the station " Jim began.

"I know that " Blair butted in angrily; both knew that Jim was referring to the incident that occurred several weeks ago. Ellison had been hard on the heels of a drug dealer called MacPherson, who had fled up to the roof to get away from the police raid. Jim had followed him up, and so had Blair. Once on the roof, the fugitive had sought his escape by jumping several feet across to the neighbouring roof. Jim had followed without hesitation. Blair had frozen on the edge, unable to move. Luckily Jim had managed to grab MacPherson fairly easily, as he had twisted an ankle during his jump, and had him handcuffed by the time Simon Banks, Brown, Rafe and several uniformed police officers had made it to the roof but not before Blair had totally freaked out. All had witnessed his frozen state, his absolute fear, and no one had dared approach him for fear of sending him over the edge. Only Jim, who risked his life again by jumping back across the gap, had managed to finally talk him back those few precious steps towards safety. "But I have to do this for myself," Blair finally finished.

"I don't like it," Jim said, moving back towards the kitchen, he headed towards the fridge and pulled out two beers. Moving back, he passed one to Sandburg and pretended not to notice the other's slightly shaking hand.

"I'm not exactly thrilled about it myself, Jim, but I've been doing really well in the class and last week I even managed to stand on top of the library building and look down."

"You what!" Jim was back up out of his seat. "After what happened on that roof during the MacPherson arrest? Sandburg are you totally without sense?"

"Megan said that I was making really good progress and she was with me, so was Jack - he stood right beside me. I was cool with it, and well now, now I feel I can take the next step."

"Yeah, right off a bridge into thin air you know for someone who's supposed to be bright, you really come up with some stupid ideas." Jim spoke the words without thought and regretted them as soon as he'd said them, but it was too late - the pain was already blossoming across the other man's face. "Blair I didn't mean "

Sandburg waved a hand in Ellison's direction and interrupted roughly, placing the beer carefully down on the small table beside the couch, "Yes you did. I expected you to be annoyed Jim, even angry - hell, it's the only way you know of showing that you care - but I also expected you to be a little bit more supportive. After all, we all have our fears that we have to face but you're right, I do have stupid ideas. I'd thought that you'd still be there for me. That's a joke." With that he flung himself across the loft and disappeared into his bedroom, firmly closing the door behind him.

"Great move, Ellison way to go, Detective," Jim berated himself for several moments, until finally realising that he had blown it. Moving back to his sandwich, he decided to give Blair the rest of the evening to cool down. In the morning, Jim was sure that Blair would be more receptive to his concerns and would maybe listen to reason. Looking at the food, he sighed in disgust and tipped it into the rubbish bin. His appetite was gone.

***

Jim ground his teeth and watched Blair make his way back from the break room with a single cup of coffee in his hand. Sandburg had been giving him the cold shoulder all morning, refusing to talk about the bungee jump at all, at one point even threatening to get out of the truck if Jim mentioned it one more time.

"Where's the paperwork on the Smithson case?" Jim asked, his tone overly friendly. He smiled hopefully, desperately wanting to mend the fences that he'd trashed the night before.

"Under your keyboard," Blair replied, his tone polite but cold.

"Blair. Look, about last night I'm really sorry, I..." Jim began, but was interrupted by Detective Brown, who appeared by Jim's desk holding a sheet of paper which he waved under Sandburg's nose.

"You're really going to do this jump, Blair?" he asked, waving the paper about. "I mean, it's high, man really high."

"Yes," Blair said firmly, looking Jim directly in the eyes. "Next Saturday." He pushed the reaction he saw in Jim's eyes aside and, smiling broadly at Brown, he asked, "So, are you going to sponsor me or what?"

"Next Saturday Blair, you know it's at least a 400-foot drop from that bridge?" Brown said, his tone filled with concern. "My cousin did it last year man, he was bouncing up and down there for at least twenty minutes before they hauled him back up was as green as a bean and as sick as a dog once he touched earth again."

"I know how deep it is," Blair interrupted, also looking slightly green, and sounding angry, "but I've promised to do it and I will. Now, do you want to sponsor me or not?"

Brown shrugged, then turning to Ellison he asked in an incredulous tone, "You okay with this, man?"

"I don't need Jim's permission to jump off a bridge, damn it," Blair snarled, jumping up and ripping the sheet from Brown's hand as he added, "I placed this on the wall in the break room for a reason, Henry. Now, if you want to sponsor me, well and good; if not, then leave it alone so other people can see it." With that he stormed off, heading towards the break room.

"Oh yeah," Ellison said sourly, "Jim's just dandy with this, Brown, or hadn't your great detective skills picked up on the cold shoulder Blair's been giving me all morning?" With that, Ellison stood up and stormed out of the office, heading in the opposite direction to the break room.

"Wow 10 out of 10, Brown," Rafe said, coming up to stand behind his partner and patting him on the back. "Maybe next time you could just give us all a little bit of a warning before you go poking at Rattler Jim."

"Hey, I just asked a question that was all. It was a simple question," Brown tried to defend himself, but no one was interested in his innocence.

Just then Simon Banks entered the room; he wore an angry frown and asked in general, "Who put the spur up Ellison's backside this morning?" Several people looked up and pointed at Brown. Rafe bowed towards his partner.

"Oh come on, I just asked a question," Brown repeated, spinning about, trying to plead his case.

"So, what's going on?" Simon asked, moving further into the room.

"In six words or less, Captain?" Rafe questioned with a smile.

"Just give me the facts, Rafe, not the party line," Simon snapped. He'd just had a hard meeting with the Chief of Police and then butted heads with an angry Ellison in the corridor; he was not in the mood for long explanations.

"Blair, bungee jump; Jim, totally pissed," Rafe supplied, no longer smiling.

"Blair's doing a bungee jump?" Simon repeated, shock clearly heard in his voice. "You're kidding, right?"

"NO," came Sandburg's enraged voice from behind him. "Listen up everyone: I, Blair Sandburg, am going to jump off Cascade Ravine Bridge this Saturday. I know it's over 400 feet; I know I will only have an elastic band tied to my feet; but I'm going to do it." He took a deep breath, trying desperately to calm himself before he carried on, "Now, it is in aid of charity, so if anyone wants to sponsor me, the form is up in the break room." With that he spun about, grabbed up his backpack, and stormed out of the room.

Silence ruled for several minutes until finally Simon said, "I see that Ellison's not the only one who's pissed this morning."

***

Jim sat in Simon's office, sipping at the coffee that he had been offered as he explained soulfully, "Then I kinda blew it, and now he's not even speaking to me." Simon had called him into his office on his return from the evidence lockup and had asked just what the hell was going on. Jim had explained.

"Do you think he'll do it?" Simon asked, his tone coloured by his concern.

"Hell yes, he'll do it Simon, and in the meantime he will work himself up to being shit scared and sick over the next five days. I swear, Simon, if I ever get my hands on this this Megan woman, I will do her some serious injury."

"Jim," Simon began, wanting to be the voice of reason. "It's not her fault that Blair wants to confront his fear in this manner."

"Confront his fear? Simon, every time it gets mentioned his heart rate goes up, his breathing gets laboured, he starts to sweat. He's terrified, absolutely terrified, and you just expect me to stand by while he throws himself off that bridge? Not to mention the fact that people have lost their eyesight and suffered serious neck and back injury doing this. I mean, give me a break here, Simon!"

Banks looked down at the cup he was holding. He knew how hard this was for Jim, but he also realised that it must be next to impossible for Blair. The young man was showing incredible courage, and Simon only hoped that Blair would go through with it because, if he didn't, then he was effectively finished at the Cascade police station. "Jim, have you thought about the reason behind why he's doing this?"

"The MacPherson case," Jim said without thinking, before he continued, "Yes, I know he froze on that rooftop. I also know that he feels he's got something to prove, but he doesn't - not to me, and I don't give a flying fig what anyone else at this station thinks." Jim was getting angry again.

"I know you don't, Jim, but Blair well, Blair obviously feels that he lost some vital points that day. Both you and I know he has a hard enough time being here; people talk - he's not academy trained and yet he's your partner there are some uniforms who don't like it, and some detectives who think he's just an upstart getting glory kicks by trailing about after you. I don't know maybe he feels he has to do this if he wants to remain your partner."

"Simon, it's too dangerous."

"Jim, let's put this into perspective; people do it every day, and this IS a charity event and the people who run it are professionals I'm surprised you haven't checked them out." He trailed off when he saw the guilty look on Jim's face. Okay, so maybe Jim wasn't down at the evidence lockup then. "Jim, I honestly don't think you have a choice, not if you want to keep Blair as your partner. You know that partnership is about trust especially when you're talking police. You've got to trust your partner on this one, and if you don't make up some ground pretty damned fast, you're going to be letting your partner down come Saturday, when he's really going to need you there to support him."

Jim gave Simon a long hard look, before he sighed in defeat and agreed sourly, "God, I hate it when you're right."

Simon smiled broadly and offered, with a tilt of his coffee cup, "That's why I'm the captain and you're the lowly detective. Now get out there and earn your wages."

***

Blair Sandburg felt like an absolute heel and a jerk. He looked down at the sponsor form in his hand then back up at his partner, Jim Ellison, who was steadily working over a report at his desk. On returning to the police station after cooling down, Blair had wandered into the break room to get a coffee and when he glanced at the sponsor form, he noted Jim's name at the top: he was sponsoring Blair for $200. Other names from Major Crimes had joined his, including Simon Banks, and now Blair was going to earn the charity over $1000 if he jumped. He felt awed that they were willing to back him for that much. Of course, a cold part of Blair's heart told him that it might be such a high amount because they didn't think that he would do it, but he was going to prove them wrong - and Blair knew that Jim knew that he would do it.

He grabbed up another cup and filled it with coffee, then headed towards Ellison's desk. As he placed it down in front of Jim, he said quietly, "Sorry."

Jim looked up, smiled and countered sadly, "Sorry right back at ya."

"$200 is a lot of money, Jim," Blair began.

Ellison waved his words aside, saying, "If it's that important to you, then it's that important to me."

"And you're going to let me do it?" Blair asked, then kicked himself for making it sound like he was asking permission.

Jim smiled weakly before he said seriously, "I'm not going to lie, Blair, and say that I am overly thrilled with the prospect. But if it's what you really want to do, then I will stand behind you 100% it's what partners do, and you've always been behind me 110%, so this is the least I can do for you."

Blair hesitated about asking his next question, but finally he ventured, "So er, you'll come and watch? I mean, I would like you there."

"I'll be there Blair in fact I'm going to be right at your side and making sure they have the correct equipment - the proper cord to go with your weight, helmet and everything. If you are going to do this, then you're going to do it safely."

Blair was silent for several moments before he swallowed hard and offered, "Thanks Jim, it really means a lot to me."

***

Saturday dawned bright and clear; it was a fine day for the jump. Blair had spent a restless night, shifting from one side of the bed to the other, twisting and turning. Jim had spent the night wide-awake, listening to his guide and bringing down curses upon the heads of both Jack and Megan.

"Breakfast?" Jim asked with false joviality when Blair finally came out of the bathroom, washed, dressed, and looking like he'd not slept for a week.

"No thanks," Sandburg said, his face pale, eyes wide. "I think I'll wait until after the jump." He swallowed, pushing down the tremors that seemed to be attacking his body that morning. He wondered briefly if he was coming down with something, but then pushed it aside - it was only his body's way of informing him that he was a total idiot, just like Jim had said.

"So, how much money did you get in sponsorship?" Jim asked, then cursed himself - he had wanted to talk about neutral things, as he wanted to take Blair's mind off the jump.

Blair laughed nervously before saying, "Well, I'd only expected to get sponsored by the people in Major Crimes, but someone did copies of the form and now it's up to almost $2000, and it looks like most of the station has signed." He paused, then added, "Man, are some of those people going to be disappointed when I collect their money on Monday."

Jim bit his bottom lip; he'd heard some of the talk going about the station concerning Blair's jump, and while there were a few people who hoped that Sandburg failed, the majority of officers hoped that he would do it. "You know, Blair, quite a lot of people down there are on your side "

"Yeah, right "

"No, it's true. They think what you're doing is really brave and it takes a lot of courage, and," Jim continued in totally honesty, "I'm not so sure I could face my fear with as much courage as you are."

"Jim, you faced your fear of deep water, and you are one of the bravest men I know." Then Blair blushed and, looking away embarrassed, he finished, "And well, I haven't jumped yet "

"Oh, you will be jumping, Blair, even if I have to toss you over that bridge myself."

Blair looked up sharply at Jim, then seeing the light in his eye, he smiled warmly back at him before adding, "Just remember to attach the cord first."

"Damn, I knew I'd forget something," Jim joked as he slapped his forehead and gathered both their coats.

***

There was a large crowd gathered at the bridge. The annual bungee jump for charity was a major event and was even covered by the local television companies, whose vans stood off to one side while the cameramen mixed with the jumpers and friends, gathering shots that could be used later.

Blair looked about nervously, then spotted someone he knew. "Megan," he called out, pushing through the crowd towards the woman.

"Blair," the middle-aged woman called back, making her way towards them. She caught him up in a strong hug, saying, "This is the hardest part, Blair the waiting, but we are here for you."

Jim swallowed his anger. Over the past week he'd built this woman up to be a dragon who was forcing Blair to jump against his will; instead, all he saw now was a middle-aged, plump woman with a kind face and a quick smile, who seemed to be genuinely concerned for his friend.

"Not such the ogre you expected, Ellison?" a familiar voice spoke in his ear.

Spinning about, he acknowledged, "Simon what are you doing here?"

"Giving moral support and trying to keep those guys in order." He threw a glance back over his shoulder, and behind him Jim saw Rafe, Brown and several other officers from the Cascade Police Department.

"Who's guarding the fort with you lot here?" Jim asked, smiling as he did so. He knew that they were there to support one of their own.

"Don't ask I think Larry the janitor was on front desk when I left," Simon laughed.

"Simon!" Blair's voice sounded surprised and delighted behind Jim, who turned round as Blair began to introduce everyone. "Jim, this is Megan and Jack you'll have to excuse Jack not talking, but he's just had this major brace fitted." Blair smiled broadly at that, and held his hands apart to indicate just how major. Jack just settled for a thump on Blair's arm, firmly keeping his mouth shut. "Megan, this is Jim, my partner and room mate, and Simon Banks, our captain."

Megan smiled warmly at the two men and accepted the handshake, saying as she did so, "Blair, I know that we talked about this yesterday, but I really want you to be sure you want to do this. I mean, talking about it in the classroom with both feet firmly placed on the ground is a whole different ball game to actually being here."

"I can do this, Megan, I know I can I've just got to focus and breathe." He took a deep breath to demonstrate. He was acting as excited as a puppy, but Jim knew that he was barely holding it together. He reached out and rested a hand on Blair's shoulder in support, and was greeted with a dazzling smile of thanks from his friend.

"Well, breathing is good, Blair," Megan offered with a warm look, "but you can turn back at any point. I'm sure that no-one here will think any less of you." She looked pointedly at the other three men, who all hastened to agree with her.

Blair brushed their words aside, stating firmly, "Megan, your favourite saying is 'the only thing we have to fear is fear itself' we've been over this time and again the last week. I can do this, and I am ready to do this, now today."

"Well, if you are sure," she said, still not so sure that Blair was doing the right thing.

"Blair," another voice called. This one belonged to a pretty young woman who made it to Sandburg's side and pulled him down for a quick peck on the cheek. "I know you can do this, Blair I know you can," she whispered, before adding, "I've booked a flight to England I'm going to see my new-born niece."

"Jenny, that's wonderful I'm so proud," Blair began excitedly, for a moment the jump forgotten as he turned to explain, "Jenny was afraid of flying weren't you?"

Before she could answer, another voice called, "Blair Sandburg." This one sounded official.

"Blair, you must be up next," Megan said, grabbing his arm and pulling him forward. A strong hand that reached over and gently but firmly released hers stopped her.

"Blair can do this on his own," Jim said, looking the woman directly in the eye.

She hesitated for a second, then smiled in understanding. "Of course he can. Blair," she spoke to her student who was frowning at Jim, "he's right; if you do this, then you have to walk over there on your own."

"Right," Blair said, frantically looking about, giving the impression he'd much rather be anywhere else but there. He took a deep breath, mumbling, "Focus breathe focus."

As he walked over to the organiser who had called his name, he felt a settling presence at his side and, glancing over, he saw Jim. His friend was not touching him, but he was walking in pace with him. "I'm shit scared, you know," he said under his breath.

"That makes two of us, Chief," Jim offered back with a brave smile.

As they approached, they could see both Rafe and Brown talking to the organiser who was saying, quite firmly, "Look, I've been doing this for over twelve years and never lost anyone. The cord is the correct one for his weight, he had a choice of helmets "

"Fine, but you won't mind if we just check all this out," Rafe stated adamantly.

"Are you two giving this man a hard time?" Simon demanded, moving up slightly from his position behind Blair and Jim.

"No sir," Brown shot back. "But Rafe, here..." he patted his partner's back firmly, "has been bungee jumping for quite a while, and we just want to check the equipment make sure the right cords are used and everything."

"I thought you'd be doing that, Jim?" Blair said nervously, swallowing hard as he did so. He had just caught sight of the drop from over the railing.

"He came by our shop yesterday and spent two hours in the storeroom, going over everything " the organiser snapped, clearly annoyed with the attention he was getting and the delay in getting the jumper rigged.

"Jim!" Blair admonished, not really angry or surprised to discover this.

"Hey it's what I do I can't help it," Jim offered with arms spread wide, proclaiming his innocence.

"Can we get this done, please?" the organiser asked, lifting up the harness and offering it to Blair. "My name is Pete, by the way, and I'm going to talk you through this, so you won't have a problem. Okay?" Sandburg took another deep breath, nodded once and shakily took the offered harness as Pete continued, "I can see that you're new to this, so you'll need to take all of your money and objects out of your pockets." He continued to read off rules as he helped Blair climb into the harness. The helmet was next. Jim checked to make sure it was fitted properly, then double-checked the harness.

Rafe, meanwhile, was checking the cord and saying to Blair, "When you go over, don't look down just straight ahead. When the order is given, you just lean forward - you do not jump out or away from the bridge let gravity take you and do the rest. You just enjoy the ride." He patted Blair on the shoulder and offered, "I do this all the time; it really is a rush."

Blair was breathing heavily as he repeated, "Straight ahead, lean forward gravity rush "

"Oh, and you can scream all the way down, if you want," Rafe added, then ducked his head when both Simon and Jim glared at him. "Well, I did the first time I did it," he countered.

"Now, are you sure you really want to do this?" Jim asked, his own hands shaking as much as Blair's as he double-checked the knots that had been fastened by Pete.

"I'm cool," Blair stammered, swallowing convulsively as he was ordered to climb onto the rail. There were a few helping hands to hold him in position until they were sternly ordered to let go by Pete, who took up a prime position behind Blair, holding onto him firmly.

"That's right, son," Pete said, his tone firm and clear. "I've done this thousands of times and your friend's right - it really is a rush. Now, just remember to breathe and look straight ahead this will all be over in a few minutes and you'll be back up here begging me to let you do it again," he finished with a smile. He was very aware of just how much courage it was taking for Blair to be where he was, could feel him shaking as he held him, but he was determined to make this as easy as possible for him.

"Jim," Blair suddenly called out. "You did remember to pack those spare trousers for me, didn't you?" he asked desperately, trying to lighten the mood.

"Got them for us both, Chief," Jim offered, totally unaware that Simon had his arm in a firm grip. The police captain fully expected Ellison to try and follow his guide off the rail when he jumped.

A signal came in and Pete gently asked, "Ready son?"

"Yes," came the squeaky, breathless reply.

"I'm going to let go now; once I do, you hold on until I tap you on the shoulder, then you just let go and let gravity take over. Alright?"

Blair nodded, unable to answer. He looked small, frightened, and very much alone as he stood waiting for the command to go, resolutely looking straight out in front of him, his jaw set in a determined line.

Suddenly he felt a sharp tap on his shoulder and then he was falling. He didn't push away, didn't even remember letting go, but the ground was rushing up to greet him and he was screaming his partner's name as he went down.

Above him, Jim had bolted towards the rail and was halfway over it as he called, "Blair!" Simon grabbed him firmly, along with both Brown and Rafe, who honestly thought the tough detective was going to follow his screaming partner over the rail.

Blair reached the end of the line and began the bounce back up. "Jim!" the cry came again. The terror was clear, and it sent shivers down people's backs as they listened.

"How the hell can he breathe and cry at the same time?" Brown asked in wonder.

This went on for several long minutes until Blair came to a bouncy stop. Then, willing and eager hands grabbed the rope and began to slowly pull him up. As his feet appeared at the top of the railing, Jim and Pete grabbed him and pulled him over the rail to safety.

Blair slumped to the floor, Jim going down to sit beside him. "I did it," he panted, "I did it." He looked as pale as a ghost and was shaking like a leaf. He shakily stood and was helped out of the harness. He wobbled for a few seconds, then leant against Jim for support.

"You are NOT - I repeat NOT - doing that again," Jim stated firmly, as he quickly checked his partner over for injury.

"Oh, I don't know, Jim, it was kinda fun," Blair teased. Now that the jump was over, he was starting to feel decidedly light-headed.

"Forget it, Sandburg " Jim warned, his tone informing his guide that this was not a matter for discussion.

"Blair," Megan cried, capturing him up in a hug, which was closely followed by a kiss from Jenny. Then the rest of Major Crimes and the Cascade police department moved in. His back was slapped and people were yelling their congratulations at him. He felt excited and dizzy all at the same time.

"Breathe, Sandburg," Jim ordered, when he noted the look on his friend's face. "Okay people, that's enough, now give him some air " Jim ordered the people milling about him, and not surprisingly they all moved back - after all, he was using his firmest voice, as he finished, "Now, let's see about getting you some breakfast."

"Jim, I did it. I did it," Blair kept saying as they moved towards the truck. Arrangements had been made to meet at a Denny's down the road for a celebratory brunch. "Did you see, Jim? I did it I actually jumped." The kid was back to bouncing about like a puppy, but this time it was from relief not fear.

"Tell me about it " Jim retorted sourly. "I nearly followed you."

"Man, that was a rush. Rafe was right; I mean, I could feel the air, see the ground coming up to meet me and and Jim Jim, stop the truck." Blair's urgent plea had Ellison throwing the car to a halt.

Jim watched with growing concern as Blair scrambled out of the truck and proceeded to throw up by the kerbside. Ellison quickly climbed out and went to his partner. Holding back Blair's long hair, he waited until the heaves subsided, then passed him the bottle of water he had collected.

After Blair had cleaned out his mouth, he stated firmly, "I am never, ever doing that again."

"No," Jim stated in total agreement. "Never again."

"Why do people do that? It's mental to toss yourself off a bridge and bounce on an elastic band it's stupid," Blair continued as he climbed back into the truck and waited for Jim to get in.

"Yep, stupid," Jim agreed again as he started the truck.

Blair glared at him and demanded, "What kind of a blessed protector and partner are you, to let me do something that stupid?"

Jim knew that Blair wasn't really angry with him; that he was just letting off steam after the tension, so Ellison answered, "The kind who trusts his partner and guide."

Blair opened his mouth to shoot back a reply, then he snapped it shut and smiled before saying, "Thanks for supporting me in this, Jim I know that it must have taken a lot of control on your part to allow me to jump."

Remembering the incredible fear he'd felt, and the strong desire to follow Blair over the rail - it was only Simon's powerful grip that had prevented him - he answered softly, "You'll never know, Chief you'll never know."

THE END

Please send comments and feedback to Wyvern

SENTINEL      *      HOME PAGE

This website is maintained by Donna and Wyvern
email Donna