Waiting Time


Captain Bridger rolled over in his sleep and tried to push the constant bleeping of his communicator from his thoughts. He failed. Slowly his mind acknowledged that someone was trying to contact him. He opened his eyes and was reaching for the connection before he fully registered the action.

"Bridger," he said, as he raised up on one elbow and wiped sleep from his eyes.

"Captain Bridger?" a male voice enquired.

"Yes," he stated, sitting up further as his mind cleared, then accused as he looked at his watch, "Do you have any idea what time it is here?"

"I'm sorry to have troubled you so late. Captain," the man continued, his tone harassed, "but this could not wait." Before Nathan could interrupt, he ploughed on, "I'm Dr. Wolenczak... Lucas's father." He paused as Bridger's head snapped up and he was confronted with blazing eyes.

Bridger looked at the man on the screen before him, reining in his anger at the neglect this man offered his son. Taking a steadying breath he raised an eyebrow, noting the pale complexion of the man before him. "Is everything alright?" he finally asked, a feeling of unease sweeping over him.

"My wife... Lucas's mother..." Wolenczak began his voice tight, firmly controlled. "Her plane... they lost contact... bad weather.... I'm on my way there... the weather's closing in and they can't..." He stopped and swallowed hard, as if realising that he was babbling. "I'm sorry, but I've got to go... Please... just tell Lucas..."

Bridger sat up further in bed. "Now wait a minute... you can't just drop this in my lap..."

He stopped as Wolenczak interrupted. "I'm sorry... tell Lucas... tell him I'll contact him as soon as I have some news..." He glanced back as someone spoke behind him. "I'm sorry I've got to go... my flight... please tell Lucas... tell him I love him."

Nathan looked at the empty screen for a few moments, trying to control the annoyance that threatened to overwhelm him. He was mainly angry at Lucas's father for not talking to the boy himself. He knew that Lucas would see it as yet another sign that his father did not really care for him.

Sighing in frustration, he reached over and contacted the bridge; speaking to the night crew on duty, he requested further information on the missing flight that Dr Wolenczak's wife had been on. As he did so, he realised that he did not even know which continent the plane had gone down on.

He spent the next few minutes getting dressed, knowing that the bridge would contact him as soon as they had anything. Moving across the room, he placed a call to Dr Westphalen, who was not pleased with having her sleep disturbed, but willingly agreed to meet him in his cabin once he explained the call he had received from Lucas's father.

Nathan was just finishing speaking to the bridge when Dr Westphalen entered. Cutting the connection, he began, "There's no news on the crash, only that contact was lost during a bad storm and they are now confirming that it has gone down. Bad weather is seriously hampering the rescue."

"Poor Lucas," Dr Westphalen said, moving further into the room. Her expression filled with sympathy for the still sleeping boy. "It's not going to be easy... telling him."

"His father should have waited to talk with him," Bridger snapped. "How could he do this?" Seeing the look she gave him, he held up his hand in defence. "I could have been there, but it would still have been better coming from his father."

Westphalen shrugged her shoulders; she knew that this was an area that they would never agree upon. "I guess he had other things on his mind."

"Other things..." Nathan began, then seeing the look she gave him, he stopped, sighing, "Alright, but this is one task I'm not looking forward to."

***

Lucas awoke at the third knock and turned over in his bed. Reaching out, he fumbled for the bedside switch and blinked a few times to adjust to the sudden light. "Who's there?" he called, not too politely.

"Lucas, it Captain Bridger," came the recognisable voice from the other side of the door.

The young man started and leaped from his bed; he knew that he was in serious trouble if Bridger was tracking him down in his cabin at... he glanced at his clock... one in the morning. As he hurried to throw on some clothes, he ran through his recent batch of tests and tried to sort out which one had got the captain's back up. As he reached for the door, he gave a sigh: he was unable to remember what evidence he had left uncovered for the captain to find.

He pushed back his fringe as he opened his door and gave a weak smile to both Captain Bridger and Dr Westphalen.

"Do you mind if we come in?" Nathen asked, looking past the boy into the untidy room beyond.

Lucas glanced backwards, following the other's look and grimaced at the mess that met his eye. Standing back, he waved them into the room. "Yeah, sure." He stepped back further as they slipped through the door.

An awkward silence filled the room while they moved about, trying to find a comfortable position. "Er..." Lucas began, unable to stand the not knowing any longer, "did I do something wrong?"

Kristen reached out to grasp Lucas's arm. "No... of course not."

She gave him a reassuring smile, then turned to look at Bridger, who fidgeted for a few moments before beginning, "Your father contacted me a short while ago." He glanced up at the boy and saw that he suddenly had the youth's full attention.

"My father?" the question was clear to all in the room.

"Lucas," Bridger began again, the words suddenly hard to find. "I'm afraid the plane your mother was on lost contact when it entered a bad weather front and it is believed to have gone down."

"Is she dead?" came the strangled gasp from the boy.

Bridger looked up again and nearly gasped out loud at the raw pain he saw etched on the boy's face. Reaching out, he gripped Lucas by the shoulders and answered firmly, "No... contact was lost, but there is no reason to suppose that the plane was not able to land safely." Even as he said the words, he realised how hollow they sounded. "I'm sorry, Lucas..." he paused again. "Your father wanted to speak to you, but he was called away... he wanted to be there when your mother is found."

"Yeah, I just bet he did," Lucas spat. "He's only racing to get there before the press." The bitterness behind the words shocked Bridger, who released Lucas and took a small step back.

"Your father had his reasons for not contacting you directly. He wanted people who cared about you to be with you when you found out." Nathan wanted Lucas to believe his words for what they were, and not for what he had learned to expect from the adults about him. It seemed to have a calming effect upon Lucas, who looked him squarely in the eyes, judging Nathan's words before letting his own drop.

"I'm sorry," he said, his bottom lip beginning to tremble. Bridger was suddenly reminded that although Lucas had the mind of a genius, he was still only a boy, and at the moment a very frightened one at that.

"Why don't you get dressed properly and we'll go to the bridge and see what they've got." Bridger spoke with more confidence than he felt, but could tell from the look upon Lucas's face that he had said the right thing.

***

Captain Bridger stopped as he entered the bridge, noticing that most of the main bridge crew were at their positions.

Commander Ford stepped forward. "We felt that we might be needed, sir," he said by way of explaining their presence on the bridge during their off hours.

Nathan swallowed the feeling of pride that crowded in on him and nodded, offering his thanks by way of a smile. "Very good, Commander Ford."

"Sir," O'Neill said from his communications console. "I've got contact with search/rescue one." He turned in his seat and gave Lucas a reassuring smile. "The weather is letting up and they are preparing to go in."

"Any news on my...." Lucas began, starting forward, then paused as words failed him.

O'Neill understood and shook his head, replying, "They believe they have a radar fixing on the plane, but no contact... but it's a TLX 57; they're the best equipped planes around today. I'm sure your mother's fine."

Lucas smiled weakly and nodded. Dr Westphalen reached out and touched his shoulder, causing him to turn. "Why don't you go and sit over there and I'll get you a hot drink." She smiled encouragingly at him.

He moved across the room and took the seat indicated, trying hard not to let his imagination get away from him. He had always believed that he had grown away from his parents since their apparent abandonment of him, yet he was now realising that the thought of losing his mother was tearing into his heart, making it hard to breathe.

"How're you doing?" Nathan asked, moving to stand beside Lucas. He reached out and steadied the boy as he shot up, so totally absorbed in his thoughts that he had not seen the man approach.

"Fine," Lucas stammered, reaching up and brushing his fringe from his eyes. He had no idea how much younger this action made him look and Bridger felt his lips tighten at the thought that Lucas's father could not have waited to comfort the boy; it would have meant so much to him.

***

The night dragged on; reports were slowly trickling in, but it was becoming obvious that there was some confusion at the actual rescue base. One group had ventured out into the slowly breaking weather, while another had remained at base.

Then came the damning news that the radar scan might not be the plane, after all. Lucas felt his world slowly crumbling in until all he could concentrate on was O'Neill as he read off the reports. After a while, the communications officer stopped relaying all the confusing parts of his reports and only passed on the relevant news.

Suddenly Lucas jumped up and advanced towards O'Neill's station, his face grim. "What the hell's taking them so long? Why can't they just go in there and get my mother out?"

"Lucas..." Bridger had moved with the boy's actions and intercepted him before he had made it halfway across the bridge. "They are doing their best. The weather..." He got no further as the youth spun on him.

"Are they? Are they doing their best...? Then why am I sitting here waiting to hear if my mother is alive or dead?" He spat the words out, his anger at the waiting beginning to flow over his common-sense. "What's wrong with them; she could be bleeding, dying up there, and all they care about is the damn weather." He stopped, out of breath, his whole body shaking with the reaction of his anger.

"Calm down, Lucas," Dr Westphalen advised, coming up on the boy's other side. "You've got to be strong."

He pushed away her reaching hand, snarling, "I don't want to be strong, I want to know if my mother's alive or dead." He stopped as he said the words, his face losing all colour. For a moment, Bridger thought the boy was going to faint and he stepped forward to catch the lad. But Lucas drew a deep shuddering breath and gasped, "God... I didn't mean that." He looked up at Nathan, his torment clear within his eyes. "I didn't mean it." Without thought, Bridger took the lad in his arms and held him close.

"I know, Lucas... Don't worry, it's going to be alright, and you've done nothing wrong." Nathan spoke with more calm than he felt and wished that he could, in some way, take away some of the young man's pain. "I don't think waiting up here is doing you any good; let's go to my cabin and wait there." He began to walk with the boy still held tightly within his grasp. Looking over the lad's head, he saw that Dr Westphalen was nodding her head in agreement and following them.

Lucas resisted for a few moments. "I can't leave... they might..."

Bridger interrupted, saying, "Commander Ford will contact us the moment we have some news." He looked at the handsome second in command and received a nod of consent. "Come on," he finished, firmly leading the boy from the bridge.

***

Nathan did not release Lucas until they reached his cabin. He had tried once on the way, but Lucas had clutched tighter and refused to let go, burying his head from prying eyes, so the older man had been content to let him seek the support he needed.

Once in the cabin, Lucas slowly pulled back. "I'm sorry," he began, wiping his arm across his eyes, trying to hide the track of tears that lay there.

"No need," Nathan said, moving further into the room, allowing Kristen to enter.

"I feel like such an idiot," Lucas continued, moving about the room like a caged animal.

"Lucas," Westphalen said, moving to gently take the boy in a hug of her own. "The emotions you are feeling at the moment are perfectly normal. You've had a shock and are scared and upset, as anyone would be in your circumstances." She held him for a few more moments then, gently disengaging from him and leading him to the bed, she slowly pushed him down. "Just sit there for a while and I'll get you something to make you feel better." Turning, she gave Nathan a quick smile before leaving the room.

Bridger watched the boy fidget, his paternal feeling for the lad growing as he watched the confusion and uncertainty well up again in Lucas. "It's not easy to face the possible loss of a parent... or a child," Bridger began. "The waiting seems so cruel, because you think of all the things you wanted to tell them; the words that had seemed so hard to say suddenly become easy." He paused, caught up with the pain of his own loss; even after all these years it still hurt. "Lucas, you need to remember those words, so that - the next time you see your mother - you can tell her just how you feel."

"Is that what happened with your son...? Did you have to wait until you found out...?" Lucas sat watching Nathan, wanting to ask, but not wishing to cause him obvious pain.

Nathan swallowed and nodded, knowing that he could help the youth with the telling of his own story. "During the time my son was missing - before he was declared dead - I had a lot of time to think, to plan all those things I wanted to say to him. I suddenly saw our relationship for what it was. It didn't matter that we argued, that he saw things differently from his mother and me." He paused, remembering the inconsolable grief. "That I still loved him."

"I'm sorry, Captain... I never meant..." Lucas began, pushing his own concerns aside for that of this man who was like a second father to him.

Bridger smiled sadly before continuing, "I never got the chance to tell him, but there is every reason for you to believe that you will get the chance to tell your mother how you feel, so concentrate on the good parts, remember the times she was there for you, and how much you really do love her."

Lucas swallowed and glanced down at his twisting hands. "I really do love her," he said, his voice breaking as he spoke around the tears that welled up in him.

"She knows, Lucas, and I bet she's thinking of you right now and wishing she could say the same thing to you." Bridger sat down beside the Lucas and allowed him to cry. As he looked up, he saw Kristen standing in the doorway and wondered how long she had been there. Then, seeing the look of compassion in her expression, he realised that it did not matter; she was a friend and deserved to be included within this group.

Moving across the room, she held out a tablet and a glass of water. "Here," she said, her voice husky with her own emotions. "Take this, Lucas, it will make you feel better."

"I don't need..." Lucas began to protest.

"Yes, you do... Now who's the doctor here?" Kristen's voice took on a tone of firmness, her eyes flashing with mock anger.

Meekly Lucas took the tablet and swallowed. "I feel like a fool," he mumbled under his breath.

"It's just to help you relax, and I would recommend it to any member of the crew who had suffered a shock like you have," Westphalen continued, taking the glass from him. "Now, why don't you just lay back to try and get some rest?"

Bridger moved off the bed and assisted Lucas to lay back, pulling a cover up and over the lad. They stood for a few moments and watched as the drug took effect. While Lucas did not actually fall asleep, he did noticeably relax.

Both adults moved away, allowing them some space to talk. "He should rest now," Kristen said, looking back at Lucas.

"What did you give him?" Nathan asked, his tone that of a worried parent.

"Only something to help him relax." She pulled a face and continued, "I didn't think this... waiting was doing him any good." She paused and continued, her voice barely above a whisper, "I hope this turns out alright, he's already so filled with guilt over the way his parents have treated him... I don't know what this would do to him."

Bridger reached up and rubbed at the back of his neck, trying to force his muscles to relax. "I'll just contact O'Neill," he began, then stopped as Kristen reached out and prevented him.

"I'm sorry, Nathan," she began. "I know this is as hard for you as it is for Lucas." Knowing that what she said was right didn't seem to help the feeling of helplessness that welled up inside him. Slowly he turned and sat down in his chair, all thought of contacting the bridge gone. Looking over at the sleeping boy, he knew that it was going to be a very long night.

Time passed. Glancing at his watch, Nathan realised that the daylight shift was about to begin. Looking over at Kristen, he saw that she was dozing in her chair, her head dipping to one side. Standing up, he headed towards the door, intent on fetching some coffee for them.

Dr Westphalen started up from her sleep before he had reached it. "I'm sorry," Bridger said, "I didn't mean to wake you... I was going to get some coffee," he explained.

"Coffee," she said, wiping a hand across her face, pushing back her hair that had become loose, then rubbing her aching neck. "What a wonderful idea."

Nathan walked towards her and began to knead the kinks from her neck. She smiled her appreciation. Suddenly his radio burst into life. "Captain," O'Neill's voice came through, clear and strong, but laced with tiredness. "I've got Dr Wolenczak on the line, he wants to speak to you and Lucas." He paused, waiting for a reply.

"Give us a moment, then put Dr Wolenczak on," commanded Bridger, moving away from Kristen and heading towards Lucas. Reaching out, he shook the boy awake.

Lucas mumbled under his breath and weakly tried to push Nathan away. Fighting the drug, he blinked a few moments then shot up as reality returned. "Your father's on the line," Nathan said gently, by way of explanation.

At Bridger's command, the screen came to life and Dr Wolenczak appeared. He was dressed in winter clothing and had obviously just come in from the outside. "Captain Bridger.... Lucas?" he said, pushing back the hood of his jacket.

"We're here, Dr Wolenczak," Nathan said, moving to sit beside Lucas, allowing the other man a better view of them both.

"She's alright... they found the plane twenty minutes ago... they're alright." Dr Wolenczak was smiling now, his words jumbling over each other.

Nathan felt the body beside him stiffen as reaction set in. Reaching out, he rested a reassuring hand upon Lucas shoulder, as his father continued, "They are bringing them down now. She broke her arm, but I've spoken to her and she wanted me to tell you she loves you, Lucas." He opened his mouth as if to say more, but the words did not come.

"I know, dad," came the whispered reply from beside Bridger a few moments later.

Dr Wolenczak suddenly looked off to one side and nodded. "I've got to go, I'm going to the hospital. I want to be there when your mother arrives. I will call you again as soon as I can. Take care and," this time he looked at Bridger, "thank you for looking after my son, Captain."

Nathan, a genuine smile of relief upon his lips, answered, "It was my pleasure, Dr Wolenczak."

After the line went dead, Kristen leapt forward and gathered them both in a hug. "I just knew everything would turn out fine." She let them go, a broad smile upon her face. "Well, I guess I'd better go and get some coffee, and pass the good news on to the rest of the crew." She turned and was gone.

Lucas drew back and glanced at Nathan, suddenly conscious of all the concern he had caused. Swallowing, he began hesitantly, "I guess I'd better go back to my own room now." He did not relish the thought of returning to his room alone, the memory of the previous night still too fresh in his mind.

Nathan could tell that the boy did not want to be alone, and could fully understand the nightmares that might invade his sleep. "Why don't you just lay back there for a while? Kristen will be back soon with the coffee, and I'm sure she'll want to see you before you leave." He stood up and pulled the covers back over the boy, as Lucas settled back.

Lucas watched as Nathan moved away towards his desk. Stifling a yawn, he mumbled, "I thought about what you said... about the things I wanted to say to my mother..." He stopped and chewed his lips before going on. "I want to go and see her as soon as I can... No matter what my dad says, I want to tell her... tell her..." he paused, the drug still flowing along his system. "Tell her how much I care." His voice had begun to slur as he slipped back into the sleep his body demanded.

Nathan waited until the boy was sleeping soundly before he moved back to the bed. Reaching out, he pushed back the fringe that was forever defying the boy's attempts at keeping it tidy. "I'll make sure you do, son, I'll make sure you do," Captain Bridger promised.

THE END


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