La Squeak Too!!
As the turbolift sped its way towards the bridge, Data tilted his head to one side and watched Wesley as he fumbled with the brightly coloured cube he held between his fingers. Spinning it first one way (squeak squeak), then the other (squeak squeak), occasionally groans of frustration would be issued by the boy.
Data stood for a few seconds more, judging if Wesley was in some pain or if the noises he issued were due to the object in his hands. "Wesley," he asked, "are you in pain?"
The young ensign glanced up, then back at the cube in his hands. Looking back up, he smiled and held it out to show the android. "No," he smiled. "It's this puzzle." (squeak squeak)
"Puzzle?" questioned Data, his curiosity piqued.
"Yes, I came across it a few hours ago. It's a twentieth century puzzle and it's driving me nuts." He began to play with the object again (squeak squeak), his attention moving from his friend back to the cube (squeak squeak).
Data watched him again for a few moments, then asked, "What is the object of this puzzle?"
"You have to get the coloured squares to match up (squeak squeak), so that one colour is showing on each side." (squeak squeak) Again his attention slipped to the cube.
"May I?" Data asked, holding out a hand.
Wesley glanced at the hand, then back to the cube. Silently he reluctantly relinquished the cube.
Eight point nine squeaking seconds later, Data handed the completed puzzle back.
"Thanks a lot, Data," snapped Wesley, snatching it back and storming out of the turbolift as the doors opened upon the bridge... leaving a totally confused Data, who reached out a hand, intending to ask the young man how he had offended him. After all, he had solved the puzzle for him, hadn't he?
A few hours into the shift and all was quite. Wesley was still ignoring Data, his anger at his friend still too sharp. The fact that he had spent the last few hours trying to solve the puzzle did not make it easier to have Data complete it within ten seconds. He looked down at the cube, resting in his lap. He knew that he should not have brought it onto the bridge, but he had planned on doing it while in the lift, and had been doing fine until Data interfered.
Looking about, he saw that the rest of the crew were deeply engrossed in their own duties. Reaching down, he quickly jumbled up the colours (squeak squeak).
"What have you got there, Ensign?" Captain Jean-Luc Picard asked, appearing by the boy, who nearly leapt from his seat at the question.
"Er.... nothing, sir." Wesley tried vainly to hide the cube from the captain's prying eyes.
"Here... let me see." Picard held out his hand and Wesley once more reluctantly surrendered the object, seriously expecting to be thrown off the bridge for daring to bring the puzzle onto it.
Instead, Captain Picard stepped back and examined the cube, murmuring, "I haven't seen one of these in years." As he spoke, he began to fumble with the cube (squeak squeak). He could remember the time his Grandmama had called him into her private room and showed him a cube, very much like this one, and how he had spent a wonderful summer afternoon learning its secret (squeak squeak). With a smile, he handed the completed puzzle back to the scowling boy, saying firmly, "Games should be kept off the bridge, Wesley."
"Yes, sir," came the despondent reply.
Picard smiled down at the bowed head then, turning, he made his wayback to the command chair.
"Everything all right, sir?" Commander Riker asked, standing as the Captain approached.
"Yes..." Picard stopped, then smiled at his first officer. "Actually, Will, Wesley just reminded me of a puzzle I had forgotten all about."
"Sir?" Riker asked politely.
"A puzzle my grandmother gave me as a boy..." He paused, trying to remember the name. "Rubik's cube... that's right, it was called a Rubik's Cube, from the twentieth century."
"Twentieth century," Riker said, looking over at Wesley who was keeping his head noticeably down. "He brought it on the bridge?" he stated, a steel glint entering his eyes.
Picard, seeing that he might have inadvertently got the young ensign in trouble, hastened to suggest, "Why don't you have a go... It's a great little mind teaser," he added with a slight smile.
"I hardly think the bridge is the place..." began Riker, drawing himself up.
"Nonsense, Number One, it's a slow day in the office, so to speak, and I'm giving you permission." Standing up, Picard advanced towards the totally unsuspecting Wesley.
"Do you mind if I borrow the cube for a few moments, Ensign?" Picard asked, holding out his hand to show that it was not really a request.
"Er... no, sir," Wesley mumbled as he parted with his new puzzle.
Walking back to Riker, Picard jumbled up the brightly coloured cube and with a few deft movements (squeak squeak squeak squeak) straightened them out again, so each side showed 16 squares of the same colour. "See, it's fairly easy once you know how," he informed a frowning Riker as he handed the once again jumbled cube over.
Riker pulled a face then, looking down, he began to turn the cube about in his hands (squeak squeak), silently counting up the colours that were already in place. Then, moving his right hand forward and left hand back, he began in earnest (squeak squeak) (squeak squeak). Five minutes later, the only sound to fill the bridge was the insistent squeaking of the cube as it spun in the first officer's hands. The first expletive came after seven minutes, then silence, shortly followed by a groan as a colour was found out of place.
"Having problems, Number One?" Picard asked, a slight smile across his features.
Riker glanced up, ready to snap at the person who had ruined his concentration. He barely saved himself. "No sir... Just trying a few alternative routes."
"That's fine then." Although Picard in body turned back to the main viewscreen, his concentration was really tuned to the (squeak squeak) that was coming from beside him.
"How long did it take you to solve?" Counsellor Troi questioned from her seat, having spent the last few minutes sensing Riker's rising annoyance.
Picard turned a blindingly bright smile upon her. "Oh, not too long," he announced, his tone filling the bridge. He paused, as if considering the question further. "I think it took me about.... twenty, twenty-five minutes."
"Twenty-five minutes?" Riker confirmed, looking up, his eyes dark with the challenge.
"Twenty-five minutes," agreed Picard, returning the look his first officer threw his way.
"You're on," Riker stated, turning back to the small cube in his hands. (squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak)
By now, the interest of the other crew members had been attracted, and Data informed them, "I was able to complete the puzzle in 8.96 seconds." All motion stopped, including the frantic squeaking.
"8.96 seconds?" Riker asked, looking from the object in his hands to the android sitting a short distance away at his post.
"Under 10 seconds," Wesley agreed in a sour tone.
"It is really not that difficult; you only have to remember to keep the red aligned with the blue, while at the same time cubing off the green with the yellow..."
"Data," Picard said from his seat, a frown filling his features.
"Yes, sir?" the android asked, his face expectant.
"The aim of doing a puzzle is not to see how fast you can do it, but the enjoyment obtained from the experience of learning how to do it."
Data looked confused for a moment, then nodded as enlightenment crept across his face. "I see, sir," he said, finishing, "so, although Commander Riker is muttering under his breath and groaning, he is in fact enjoying himself?"
"Precisely Data... isn't that right, Will?"
"Yes sir," snapped Riker, squeaking away, having lost all interest in the conversation as his twenty-five minutes sped past (squeak squeak).
"I always found it to be the wrist movement that held the key," Picard advised, shooting Riker a mischievous sidelong glance.
"Really sir?" Data turned in his chair and watched Riker fumble with the cube before he continued, "I found the problem was purely mathematical."
"I do not see how you can gain enjoyment from a puzzle where no physical attributes are displayed," Worf said gruffly from behind the command centre.
"Ah... but this is a puzzle that demands mental attributes. It gets the old grey matter working," Picard replied, tapping his forehead for emphasis.
"It certainly causes a wide range of emotions," Counsellor Troi stated, peering past the captain to look with some concern at Riker, who was now chewing his bottom lip as he worked at the cube (squeak squeak).
"Time's up," Picard announced, snatching the puzzle from still-working fingers.
"Not fair," said Riker, following the cube up into the air.
"Twenty-five minutes, Number One," Picard stated firmly, then holding the cube up away from Riker, he asked, "Anyone else fancy their chances?" As he spoke he turned and looked at the security officer "Lt. Worf?"
The Klingon in question looked first at his captain, then at Riker - who was still scowling at Picard - then finally at the cube that was held poised between them.
"If you insist, Captain," Worf finally agreed, his tone stating that he had no real wish to get involved.
"I do... I do," Picard said with an evil smile as he surrendered the puzzle.
Ten minutes later, the crew had grown tired of watching Worf struggle with the cube, his face a set mask of no movement, and their attention slowly drifted back to their stations. From behind Picard the squeaking became deadly quiet and a few seconds later Worf announced, "I believe I have completed it, Captain."
Riker jumped up and, before anyone could react, he had snatched the cube from Worf's outstretched hand. In a glance he could see that all the colours were in their right positions. With a sigh of frustration, he slowly handed the puzzle back to Picard and slumped back into his own seat.
"Well done Worf," Picard said, turning the cube over in his hands. He was impressed with the speed in which the security officer had completed the puzzle. It had, in reality, taken him an afternoon to solve the puzzle, despite what he had told Riker. "What about you, Counsellor?" he asked, mixing the colours up and holding the cube out to Troi.
She eyed the object with distrust for a few moments, before saying firmly, "Not right now."
Picard looked slightly disappointed, but turned back to Riker. "Like another go?"
"I really do feel that puzzles should not be done while on duty on the bridge," Riker stated with ill grace.
"Of course, Commander," Picard said, unable to hide the smile from his tone. "Wesley, I think in future you should keep your puzzles for your off-duty periods."
"Yes sir," the hapless boy agreed, accepting the cube back from the captain. "It won't happen again," he assured him, casting a quick glance down at the cube.
The rest of the shift passed without incident. As they were relieved, Riker made a beeline for Wesley, catching him by the arm as he entered the lift.
"Wes," he began. "Would you mind if I borrowed the puzzle for a while?" Although it was a question, it was obvious to the boy that he was expected to hand the cube over.
"No sir," he replied, reluctantly handing the puzzle over.
"Thanks, Wes," Riker said, looking down at the cube he now held.
"Here sir," Wesley added. Snatching it back, he swiftly jumbled up the colours before he handed it to the first officer. Riker glared at the boy as he left the turbolift, but Crusher did not care as he felt a small thrill of revenge seep into his being.
***
Later that evening, Wesley, Data and Worf were relaxing in Ten Forward. From behind them they could hear the tell-tale signs of squeak, squeak. Turning slightly, Wesley saw Commander Riker hunched up in a corner, his fingers fumbling with the brightly coloured cube he held clutched within his hands. His face was a picture of pure concentration, which would erupt into an expression of exasperation as the colours on the cube refused to come up the way he wanted.
Wesley turned back to his friends. "How did you complete the cube so quickly, Worf?" he ventured, taking a sip of his drink.
Lt. Worf sat back in his seat, obviously proud of his achievement. "I have always had a natural ability to solve problems."
"Twenty-one minutes forty six seconds is very fast, for a first attempt," Data stated. "I did hear Captain Picard confess to Counsellor Troi that it took him over three hours to solve the puzzle."
"Three hours?" Wesley said, his eyes widening.
"Yes Wesley, apparently he did the puzzle as a child and remembered the mathematical formula when he saw you holding the cube today."
"How long has Commander Riker been doing it now?" Wesley wondered out loud.
"I saw him doing it over lunch," Worf said, turning slightly to watch the man in question. "It is not a good idea to eat soup whilst doing that particular puzzle," he finished knowingly.
"So, Worf," Wesley asked, leaning back in his chair. "What is the mathematical formula?"
"Mathematical formula?" Worf asked, turning back. "I didn't use a formula... I just removed the little coloured stickers and replaced them so they made up the completed cube."
Wesley spurted the mouthful of drink across the table, and spent the next few moments trying to get his breath back. Data offered his assistance by clapping the boy on the back. Finally, holding up a hand to stop Data, Wesley gasped, "You just changed the colours about on the cube, rather than change the cube to achieve the colours?"
Worf looked at the boy as if he were talking gibberish, then, sighing, he stated firmly, his voice tinged with anger, "I understood the object of the puzzle was to have each face showing their individual colours... this, I did."
"But you cheated," insisted Wesley, before shrinking under the glare this earned him from the Klingon security chief.
"No, really, Wesley," Data said, head tilted on one side. "Captain Picard merely stated that the colours needed to be the same; he did not say how it was to be achieved. Lt. Worf merely used his initiative to solve the puzzle."
Wesley knew that he was not going to win the argument, so wisely decided to let the matter rest. After a few moments of quiet consideration he ventured, "That means that - if you changed the coloured stickers on the cube - then Commander Riker will never be able to match them up... unless he changes the colours back?"
"No, Wesley, it should not make a difference," Data said, his tone neutral.
"But, if someone did change the stickers so that they did not match, he could be doing that all week and never solve the puzzle?" Wesley said, considering the implications.
"Undoubtedly," the android confirmed, as he would a report on the bridge.
Worf, seeing the gleam enter the young human's eyes, asked, "Do you think we should?" as he heard another expletive from the corner, and considering Riker's temperament after a week.
Wesley toyed with the idea, then remembering the joke the officer in question had played on him a few weeks previous said, "You distract him and I'll re-sticker him." He took a sip of his drink to hide his smile, before he burst out laughing after seeing the answering smile upon the Klingon's face.
Glancing up, Commander Riker spotted Wesley, Worf and Data sitting at their table and wondered why Data was looking confused, Wesley was laughing and Worf was smiling. Pushing that thought aside, he turned with a deep sigh of frustration to the puzzle he held in his hands. Squeak... Squeak...
THE END
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